mls88br asked this question on 2/21/2000:

Is spanking a child Child Abuse?

symonie_2000 gave this response on 2/23/2000:

mls88br,

That depends upon a couple of things: if the child is even yours, how frequently you do it, how hard it's inflicted upon the child. No one can exactly say what is and isn't child abuse, because every situation is different. Some people believe that it isn't, because parents "own" their children and they have the right to do whatever they want. That's not true, for many reasons. Children are individuals, just like adults. They're not "possessions", to be shown off to relatives. They have fragile feelings. Once a child is born, they're not inside their mother's womb; they become an individual, his or her own individual. I don't believe spanking a child will do any good, anyway. If you want to teach your child, the best way is through example and your own example. (Children pick up more things than you know, so you should be aware of what YOU and your spouse do, along with any people your child(ren) have contact with.) Tell him why something is a certain way and he'll understand more than he would if you told him something was just bad, evil, not nice, etc. For example, if he insulted his sister, instead of spanking, you might explain that what he said hurt her and made her cry. Don't make him feel like a bad person, but make him aware of his actions.

If, however, this is NOT your child, then don't do it. The children aren't yours and so you have no right to do anything(parents themselves don't even have the right to do whatever they want.). If you're a nanny or baby-sitter, then just, like before, explain to the kids when they do something bad. Abusing a child just makes him/her realize later in life that abuse and violence gets him or her his/her own way. That's not the way to go. You don't want your child to become the next Adolf Hitler or Ted Kazinski, do you? Besides, it's not even true. There's a proverb that says: any boy can fight, but it takes a man to walk away from one. Violence doesn't give you power, it's only false power, which is really inferiority, a lack of control. You don't control your children. They control you, especially infants. When they were born, you had an obligation to fulfill their every need, despite your own wants and desires. If your child was sick and had to stay home from school, you couldn't go to work. They're the ones that gave you stretch marks; hey, they controlled your body, too!! You couldn't predict when they decided it was time to come out. And it will always be like that, for as long as you have children. Keep that in mind. Reminder: success is in leaving the past behind and picking up where you left off. What I mean is, whatever the child(ren) has/have done is already done and history, so there's no point in dwelling on it. Just fix what needs to be fixed. BUT remember that the best way to deal with problems and situations is to never let them start in the first place.

symonie_2000