silvermoon17 asked this question on 5/16/2000:

I have been studing various wiccan traditions over the past few years. As of late, and after much thought, research, and reflection, I have decided to delve further into the craft. My friends and my mother know that I have been studying. Most of my friends respect this, and even want to learn more about wicca, but I get the feeling that my mother feels it's just a phase, and some of my "friends" are closed minded and call wicca "the devil's work" and tell me that I am going to hell. How should I respond to these comments? Then there's the rest of my family. You see, I was raised and Confirmed Catholic. As of now, most of my family sees me as a "bad Catholic". I don't want anyone to think that I am "bad", but I know that several of my relatives, would not understand, and would be hurt, and concerned by my explainations. Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can solve these problems? Any help would be appreciated. Blessed Be.

LadyCatW gave this response on 5/17/2000:

First, let me congratulate you on already being out of the broom closet. You have passed the hardest hurdle - your mother and your friends. While yes, your mother may think this is a "phase," if you develop a strong faith in the Gods, your mother will start to see that. I can't tell you what her reaction might be, but perhaps if you continue to be open an honest with her about what you are studying, she will probably come to the realization that while it is "not a phase" that it is a positive move for you.

Unfortunately, for the fully close minded, you don't truly have an answer they will accept. Being a minister's daughter myself, I have had long discussions with my father about just this subject. While he knows that we do not "worship Satan" per se, he is convinced that Satan is using the Gods as puppets to "lead us all astray." Eventually, I just had to lay down the line with him that I would no longer discuss my religion with him.

However, if there is a priest in your parish that you have any respect for, I would encourage you to go talk to him. Let him know that you are making a more full committment to Wicca and would like to end your membership in the Catholic Church (I am assuming you are on the membership rolls, as usually confirmation immediately puts you on them). Tell him you are doing it out of respect - that to do any less would be lying both to the Church and to yourself. He will probably want to discuss it with you, so pick a time when you can spend some time. He is probably going to want to save you from yourself, but if you truly believe this is what you want, he cannot change your mind.

This is something I did when I was beginning in Wicca. It was slightly different, as I grew up Lutheran, but the concept is the same.

If there are no priests in your parish that you respect, is there any other parish priest that you could at least talk to? Otherwise, a letter to the local archdiocese could do it as well.

Once you have done that, discussions with your family should be just a little bit easier. Tell them you have discussed it with a priest, and while you may not have his blessing, you have withdrawn your membership from the Church. It shows them that you do have a certain amount of respect, and that you are not just "going off half-cocked."

For the rest of it, if your explanations cause them pain, or concern, ask them to simply watch for a while. If your faith is strong, it will show even for them. We are a positive religion - and it shows in our lives. We try to do no harm to others, and we bear the responsibility of our own actions. Tell them if they cannot deal with your words, to watch your actions - and then make sure that your actions are positive as well.

I hope it works out for you. You are in a tough situation right now, but it is worth it. And, I know from experience, you can come out of it with parents and family still intact if they love you as much as you love them.

All my blessings go with you during this time - I wish you the very best.

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