PathSeeker asked this question on 5/2/2000:
Hello Bethany,
I am a seeker and have been studying the "formal" wicce traditions for some time now and have been solitary for several years. For some time, I've wanted to become involved with a group because I feel I am at "that point" where the group experience would provide much growth.
I have somewhat of a problem, however, and I'm trying to decide if I need to take what I'm discovering as a "sign" that I should remain solitary (which makes me sad to think so) or if I am somehow missing a very large point.
I have a very tough time with the sexual aspect within traditional circles. I've been fortunate to have been invited to visit more than one circle and have found that the touching, kissing and neo-sexual happenings make me very uncomfortable and nervous.
I don't consider myself a prude at all, in fact I was a stripper when younger, but I have never been attracted to women (I am female) and have very strong convictions regarding monogamy. I have been married for 10 years and just know that it's not right for me to have experiences outside of my marriage - even non-romantic ritualistic experiences.
With much anticipation and excitement, I attended a Beltain celebration which started out as a wonderful experience, but as has happened before (in other groups) there was a point when the group became involved with caressing & kissing each other. I felt as if my presence became a negative at that point as I ex-cluded myself. I left that evening very dis-enchanted and sad.
I might be missing something here, or perhaps I am just not meeting the right people. Is there such a thing as a group which does not engage in this behaviour and if so, do you have any ideas on how I might locate such a group? I live in the Pacific Northwest.
Blessed Be!
pathseeker
mothergoddess gave this response on 5/5/2000:
MERRY MEET!
YOU KNOW, YOU SHARE THIS PROBLEM WITH MORE WICCANS THAT YOU KNOW... THERE HAS BEEN MANY TIMES THIS SAME CONCERN HAS BEEN VOICED. BUT BECAUSE IT IS BELIEVED TO BE REQUIRED AS PART OF RITUAL, THEY KEEP QUITE, DO AS THEY HAVE BEEN TAUGHT, AND GO HOME FEELING THAT IT WAS WRONG SOMEHOW...
ANYTHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL THAT WAY IN YOUR PRACTICE IS WRONG... TO DO NO HARM, APPLIES TO ONES SELF ALSO... AND THERE ARE COVENS OUT THERE THAT REALIZE THIS... UNFORTUNATELY, I PERSONALLY DON'T KNOW OF ANY INDIVIDUAL COVENS IN THE NORTHWEST AREA...
BUT I HAVE A MARVELOUS LINK TO COVENS IN YOUR STATE THAT HAVE TELEPHONE NUMBERS LISTED, PLEASE CALL AND DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK ABOUT THE SEXUAL CONTENT OF THE RITUALS, AND EXPLAIN YOUR BELIEFS/FEELINGS. IF THEY DON'T CONFORM TO THE WAY YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE, THEN MOVE ON AND CALL THE NEXT ONE...IF FOR SOME REASON YOU CAN NOT FIND ONE SUITED TO YOU IN YOUR AREA, ASK SOME OF THE FELLOW PRACTITIONERS IF THEY HAVE THESE CONCERNS ALSO, CONSIDER FORMING A COVEN IN YOUR AREA THAT EXCLUDES THIS TYPE OF PERFORMANCE. YOU WILL BE SURE TO FIND THAT THERE ARE MORE THAN A FEW WILLING TO JOIN.
I MUST ADD, THAT BELTAIN WAS REALLY THE WRONG TYPE OF CELEBRATION TO GO TO, AS IT IS REEKED IN SEXUAL UNDERTONES, BY TRADITION...(MAYBE WRONG IS TOO HARSH A WORD...POOR CHOICE WOULD BE BETTER) SPRING, REBIRTH, HANDFASTING, MERRIMAKING, MAYPOLE (PHALLUS) ETC...ALL SCREAM ABOUT THE CONNECTIONS TO SEX... BUT LAUGH IT OFF... BECAUSE IT IS A PART OF GROWING AND LEARNING...
I KNOW YOU WILL FIND A GROUP YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH. AND WHEN YOU DO, PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I WILL POST IT ON MY WEBSITE FOR THE OTHERS, SO THEY WILL KNOW THAT THERE ARE OPTIONS OPEN TO THEM ALSO...
http:witchvox.com
(cut and paste this. when you get there, go down the right side of the page, and click on Covens/Groups... and then click on your state)
MERRY PART AND MERRY MEET AGAIN.
WITH LOVE,
BETHANY
The average rating for this answer is 5.
PathSeeker rated this answer a 5.
Bethany, you are a blessing! Thank you for your response; they have settled my thoughts.
Your website is lovely and informative :-) I'll do as you suggest and contact covens in the area.
Blessed Be, Bethany.
~pathseeker