COMMUNICATION SKILLS "GAMES"

     The following is a series of "games" which have been found
quite useful in helping "a bunch of interested people" learn to
communicate! with each other, taking them one further step
towards forming the "group mind" necessary to work together as a
coven in circle.

Monitor's Notes:

There are a few brief rules which must be observed in order to
make these games more productive for the participants.  These
are:

1.   NOTHING which is said during the games may be discussed
     outside the games without the consent of ALL parties
     involved in the subject.  This is enforced by personal
     honour only, but must be stressed at the onset of the
     series.

2.   Everyone's attention should be on the two people involved in
     the conversation.  No off-side comments or conversation will
     be tolerated.

3.   Each step of the series MUST be accomplished in the exact
     sequence necessary.  Example:

     Person 1 - "Tell me something you like about me."

     Person 2 - "I like the clothes you choose."

     Person 1 - "Thank you."

     It is the Monitor's main task to see that each step is
     performed before going on to the next.  The first step is
     Person 1's opening statement or question.  Step two is
     Person 2's response.  Step three, Person 1's acknowledgment.

     In the sequences with Person 1 asking (or stating) two
     communications, the steps are as follows:  Person 1 opens
     with "Is there" or "There is", Person 2 respond with "yes"
     or "no".  If "no", then Person 1 acknowledges, and moves to
     the next person.  If "yes", then Person 1 opens, Person 2
     responds with "yes", Person 2 continues with statement or
     question asked for, then Person 1 acknowledges (or answers,
     whereupon Person 2 acknowledges).

     Without going into gory detail, the steps are similar in the
     games where Person 1 opens with "There is something I would
     like to tell/ask you."  Person 2 responding with "Would you
     like to ask me now?", etc.

4.   The word WHY, either as question or as statement is NOT
     ALLOWED!  There are too many defense mechanisms built-in to
     this word for productive answers to be given or understood.

5.   For any answer requested in the first five games, the
     answer-er has three options...They may tell the truth, they
     may lie, or they may refuse to answer.  All must be
     accepted.  In HOT SEAT only, are there only two options...In
     answering the questions you may lie or you may tell the
     truth, but you may not refuse to answer.

6.   Last, and most important...JUSTIFICATION OF REASONING OR
     ACTIONS IS DISALLOWED!  This is the most judgmental ruling
     on the part of the Monitor.  It is up to the Monitor alone
     to determine whether and answer is a statement of fact, or a
     defensive maneuver.  This is the hardest part, so be alert.


Finally, when in the course of the circular nature of things the
Monitor comes due for a turn, Monitor-ship should be turned over
to any other member of the group, and may change from turn to
turn, depending on who is participating and who is Monitor.  This
can be accomplished with a simple "Stop", and something akin to
the following:

"Joe Schwartz, I designate you Monitor for the duration of my
turn."

With Joe S. returning Monitor-ship in a like manner when the turn
is ended.

The Games are illustrated here in more detailed "script-form" so
that you may understand the course of events in each.  All should
be seated in a circle so that while one person is talking all the
others will be able to see the speaker, as well as all being able
to see the Monitor.  Anyone wishing to get the Monitor's
attention may raise a hand, or say "Excuse me", but "Stop" is
reserved as the Monitor's code-word.

Note:     It is acceptable, on the Monitor's decision, to clarify
          an answer if the person receiving the answer does not
          understand, in any of the games.


GAME 1 - FLATTERY:

P1:  "Tell me something you like about me."

P2:  "I like your hairstyle"

P1:  "Thank you.  Tell me something you don't like about me."

P2:  "I don't like your use of the word "socie-cal"".

P1:  "O.K.  Tell me something you like about me."

P2:  "I like the way you have with animals."

P1:  "Thank you."


GAME 2:

Option 1:

P1:  "Is there something you would like to tell me that you have
     not previously told me?"

P2:  "Yes."

P1:  "Would you like to tell me now?"

P2:  "Yes,  I always feel left out when you do xxx thing."

P1:  "Thank you."


Option 2:

P1:  "Is there something you would like to tell me that you have
     not previously told me?"

P2:  "Yes."

P1:  "Would you like to tell me now?"

P2:  "No."

P1:  "Thank you."


Option 3:

P1:  "Is there something you would like to tell me that you have
     not previously told me?"

P2:  "No."

P1:  "O.K."


GAME 3:

P1:  "Is there something you would like to ask me which you have
     not previously asked me?"

P2:  "Yes."

P1:  "Would you like to ask me now?"

P2:  "Yes.  How is it that when someone rings the doorbell, the
     first word you say is "damn"?"

P1:  "I don't know.  Wait, yes I do know...the doorbell always
     disturbs my concentration on what I'm doing at the time."

P2:  "Thank you."

As with the previous game, Options 2 and 3 apply also.


GAME 4:

P1:  "There is something I would like to tell you that I have not
     previously told you."  (Note:  Make something up, if
     necessary)

P2:  "Would you like to tell me now?"

P1:  "Yes.  It concerns me that you don't seem to be getting
     enough sleep."

P2:  "All right."

Options 2 and 3...


GAME 5:

P1:  "There is something I would like to ask you that I have not
     previously asked you."

P2:  "Would you like to ask me now?"

P1:  "Yes.  Where do you go when you get angry and storm out of
     the apartment?"

P2:  "I go for a walk in the park."  (Monitor's note...watch out
     for "I go for a walk in order to/because/so I can...these
     are justifications)

P1:  "Thank you."

Options 2 and 3...


GAME 6 - HOT SEAT (ORACLE):

One chair in the room is designated the "Hot seat".  One at a
time, each participant sits in this chair and in rotation, each
of the other people ask them one question, to which there MUST BE
A REPLY.  Remember, you can tell the truth or you can lie.



These are the "Comm. Games" as they are at this point.  Names
could be assigned to the intermediate four, and some temporary
rules may be agreed upon at the start of each game, with the
consent of ALL PARTIES.

We suggest that these games be played through from the first to
the last with only short breaks between them, in order to
maximize the effect.  Playing them one at a time in consecutive
class sessions, or on separate days, seems to lessen their
effectiveness.  One class session or gathering should be
scheduled following the series to discuss the feelings of the
"Players".

ENJOY!!!!
                                  ........Kyri Comyn, Hernesgaard