HELPFUL HOUSEHOLD HINTS FROM HABONDIA

      (With appologies to Heloise)

     Ever  notice  how  many  cars you  see  today,  bearing  the
Christian  fish symbol on their trunk?  Feel left out?   Want  to
compete  and  brag about your religious affiliations?   Well,  we
did, and you can, too, quite easily at that!

     The "fish" symbol is the oldest of Christianity's symbology.
Unlike  most of the other symbologies which have their  roots  in
Paganism,  the fish was a sort of "secret sign" to  identify  the
members of the heretical Jewish sect of followers of the man from
Nazareth.    The  secrecy  was  because  of  persecution   (sound
familiar?)  and  I believe the symbolism had to do  with  several
things  - the desciples' occupation as fishermen, and the  hidden
meaning in the letters which spelled "fish" in Greek.

     Want to identify yourself, although somewhat obscurely?   Go
out  and buy one of those fish emblems - the plain ones,  without
the letters inside the oval.  Better if the package contains  two
such molded plastic stick-on emblems, if you are into the duality
of Goddess/God.  If you are only into Goddess, one will do.

     First, we will make one into one of the oldest known Goddess
symbols  -  the yoni!  With a very sharp knife  or  fine  toothed
hacksaw  or hobby saw (a razor saw used by railroad modellers  is
what  I used), cut off both "tail fins" of the fish at point  "X"
on the diagram. Save the pieces - we'll use them later.  (Dianics
may discard the pieces now.

     You  may also melt them off with a hot tool or knife if  you
are  working on plastic fish, and clean it up with a nailfile  or
emery  board.  Turn this pointy-ended oval on end (points up  and
down),  and VOILA! A YONI! The very first goddess figure  devised
in  ancient times.  Stick it upright on your trunk (or the  trunk
of  your  car, if it interferes with your clothing) and  get  the
second "fish" to work on next.

     To  represent the Horned God, all you really have to  do  is
up-end  the  remaining  uncut  "fish",  fins  up,  and  stick  it
alongside  the Goddess yonic figure - it looks like  the  classic
horned circle, though it is a bit pointed at the ends.  If  you'd
like to emphasize the "fish fin" horns a bit, glue the pieces you
cut  off  the  other  one,  onto  the  ends  of  these,   thereby
lengthening  them.   Now stick this emblem  right  alongside  the
other  one, and you have Goddess and God, side-by-each where  all
can see, and probably confuse a lot of those folks who are  still
displaying them as fish.

     Don't  pass  up this chance to steal a symbol  or  two  from
them-  they  stole  quite  a few  of  ours.   A  little  friendly
competition is good to ease tensions.  Perhaps we can start a new
rage  in auto kitsch.  The Aquarian Tabernacle's church bus,  the
Blessed  Bee, sports a large size, gold colored  plastic  Goddess
and God right there (you guessed it) on the left hand side of the
rear of the vehicle, for all to see and ponder!

     Just another helpful household hint from Habondia.