''Glory be to the System in the highest, but could you make one small change??''
GENESIS
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In the beginning the Project manager created the Programming
staff. The programming staff was without form and structure.
And the Project Manager said, "let there be Organization";
and there was Organization. And the Project Manager saw that
Organization was good; and the Project Manager separated the
workers from the Supervisors, and he called the supervisors:
"Management", and he called the workers : "exempt".
And the Project Manager said, "Let there be a mission in the
midst of the Organization, and let it separate the workers,
one from another." And the Project Manager created the
mission and he called it : "The System". And the Project
Manager separated those who were to benefit from The System,
from those who were to build it. And he called the former:
"Users", and he called the latter: "programmers".
And the Project Manager said, "Let all the Programmers in the
Organization be gathered in one place, and let a Chief
Programmer be brought up to lead them". And it was so. And
the Project Manager saw that he was competent.
And the Project Manager said unto the Chief Programmer,
"Create for me a schedule, so that I may look upon the
schedule and know the Due Date." And the Chief Programmer
went among his staff and consulted with them. And the staff
was divided into two parts; one part was called: "Analysts",
and the other part was called: "Application Programmers".
And the Analysts went back to their desks and estimated,as was
there custom. And it came to pass that each Analysts brought
his estimate to the Chief Programmer, whereupon he collected
them, summarized them, and drew a PERT chart.
And the Chief Programmer went unto the Project Manager and
presented to him the estimate saying "It shall take ten
months." And the Project Manager was not pleased and said, "I
have brought you up from the depths of the staff; but you have
not grasped the Big Picture." And the Project Manager hired
consultants, and authorized overtime, and he said to the
Chief Programmer, "Behold, see all I have done! The Due Date
will be in five months." The Chief Programmer was much
impressed and went from the Project Manager and proceeded to
implement The System.
And the Chief Programmer sent his Analysts to the Users and
said, "Let Specifications be written." And there were
meetings, and lunches, and telephone calls. And the
Specifications were written. And there was a Payday and the
Happy Hour; one month.
And the Chief Programmer examined the specifications and saw
that they were too ambitious. And he separated the mandatory
features from the optional features; and he called the
mandatory features: "Requirements", and he called the optional
features: "Deferred", and the Users called him names. And the
Chief Programmer gave the Specifications to the Analysts and
said, "Let the Requirements be analyzed and let the files be
designed." And it was so. And the Chief Programmer said,
"Let the Software Houses put forth their Salesmen, and let us
have a Data Management System." And it was so. The Software
Houses brought forth all things for them, each according to
his own file structure. And it came to pass that a Data
Management System was selected; and the Chief Programmer saw
that it was good. And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour;
a second month.
And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the system be divided into
parts, and let each part be called a 'Module'. And let
programming teams be formed and let each be assigned to write
a Module." And it was so. And the Chief Programmer created
the programming teams with two levels, a greater and a lesser;
and he called the greater the "Senior Programmers", and he
called the lesser the "Junior Programmers". and he gave the
greater dominion over the lesser. And the Chief programmer
saw that it was good. And the Junior programmers saw it
differently. And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour; a
third month.
And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the programming be started
and let much overtime be consumed, for there is but two months
left." And the Programmers, both the Senior and the Junior,
were much afraid, they strove to please the Chief Programmer.
And they flowcharted, and they coded, each in his own fashion.
And the Chief Programmer looked upon the work and liked it
not. And the Chief Programmer said, "Let there be a Standard.
And the programmers looked upon the Standard and liked it not.
And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour; a fourth month.
And the Chief Programmer said, "Let there be Progress Reports,
so we can monitor and control", and there were Progress
Reports. And the Chief Programmer looked upon the Progress
Reports and saw that the Due Date was not to be met. And the
Chief Programmer arose, pressed his suit, shaved his beard,
and went unto the Project Manager, and groveled. And the
Chief Programmer pointed his fingers, and caused Blame to
issue forth upon all manner of creatures who sold Hardware and
Software. And the chief Programmer asked for an extension.
And the Project Manager was exceedingly angry, and cast doubts
upon the Chief Programmer's ancestry; and uttered a multitude
of threats. But it came to pass the Extension was granted;
and the Chief Programmer took the Extension back to the
programming teams, and there was much rejoicing. And there
was a Payday and the Happy Hour; a fifth month.
And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the programming Modules be
integrated, one with another, so that System Testing may
begin." And it was so. Two by two the Modules were
integrated. one with another. And great difficulties were
experienced, and many hours of overtime were used, and many
cups of coffee were consumed. And it came to pass that System
Testing was completed. And there was a Payday and the Happy
Hour; a sixth month.
Then the Chief Programmer did go to the Project Manager and
said unto him, "Behold, I bring you good tidings of joy which
will come to the Users; for on this day The System is
completed." And suddenly there was with them a multitude of
Users praising the Chief Programmer and saying, "Glory be to
the System in the highest, but could you make one small
change??"