Copyright 1985, 1986 by Gregory S. Swann. All Rights Reserved.
Direct inquiries to CIS I.D. 75115,1341.
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Philophilia Among the Not-Yet Set


        "Love is...," said the Sexpert, crouched in a corner of the booth in a
fractional lotus. It tended to hide her surpluses, which was well, but it
couldn't hide her garb; her skin wasn't right for black 'tards and turtleneck,
so she counter-weighed with hefty black glasses. "Love is..."
        Proudly Suffering mused lovingly, "Love is pain... =Ex=quisite
pain..." He brushed at his thinning black hair and made beagle eyes at the
blonde woman across the table. He pulled the lapels of his velveteen jacket
into place. He groomed his thin moustache. Do I read minds?; as I
watched him in the mirror, I =knew= his thoughts: 'worth a shot', or maybe
'because it's there'.
        "Eavesdropper," the bartender said to me. It wasn't a question, and
he proved it with a knowing grin.
        "Give me a warm-up," I said, tapping the half-full beer glass in
front of me. "Charge full price to make it worth your while. It'll make it look
like I have a reason for staying here."
        The blonde woman gushed, "Love is =ev=erything!" One would say she was
elegantly endowed, quite well favored by nature, if it were possible to judge
by measuring only those organs from the eyebrows down. As it was, well... More
Proudly Suffering's type than mine. "Love is =all= there is!"
        "Well, what about sex?!," the Sexpert countered beligerently.
"Without sex there is no expression for Love. Without sex Love can't exist!"
        "Yeah," said Suffering, "and what about walks along the beach and
listening to music and great books?"
        "And cuddling," said the Sexpert. "And even the grinding process
of mutual self-sacrifice."
        Suffering said: "Nonsmoker preferred. Matrimonially inclined. No
fetishists."
        "Hey...," said Elegantly Endowed. "I think I read that in the
=Voice=."
        "Yeah," sighed Suffering. "That was my ad... Didn't pull."
Another sigh.
        Sexpert: "You didn't say anything about cuddling. Or merging
into a oneness."
        "You didn't even say anything about Love!," Endowed chided.
        Sigh. "I'll never get it right..."
        "Aww...," soothed the blonde. "Love always finds a way..."
        Suffering whimpered, "...not for me."
        "Aww... Haven't you found Love yet?" She stroked gently at
his temples.
        He looked at her with mercenary eyes. "Uh... Not yet."
        "Poor baby... Love is =all= there is..."
        "Sex is better any day," mused the Sexpert. "The final statement of
the dialectic! Being and not-being. Sacrificing and being sacrificed-to!
Power, pain, pity. What could be more wonderful?"
        "...frankly," Endowed muttered, "a lot of things..."
        "I'm whole when I'm with someone," Sexpert rhapsodized. "I'm
whole because I can lose myself in that other person."
        "...something doesn't add up," said Endowed.
        "If so it's because you're still tied down to lackey monogamy. 'Off
Limits!'," the Sexpert scoffed. "'Private Property!', 'No
Trespassing!'. You have yet to learn that the oneness of not-being can only
be secured by giving freely, indiscriminately."
        "To =any=one?" The blonde made a face. Her eyes shot to Proudly
Suffering, but she hastily pulled them away.
        "To =any=one!"
        "Even if they don't =bathe=?"
        "=Any=one. Any expression of ego blocks access to oneness."
        "Yuck."
        "Do you see?" The Sexpert smiled smugly. "You're unwilling to quest
after =true= happiness."
        "Uh... Have =you= found Love?"
        "Love is an anachronism! I have thrown off the bourgeois chains
of Love!"
        "Translated," Suffering chuckled, "that means: Not yet." The
Sexpert glowered at him.
        The blonde threw back her trusses. "Well, =I= say that Love is
=all= there is. Why, if not for Love, what else is there to live for?"
        "Sex," cooed the Sexpert.
        "Pain," the Sufferer moaned. "The exquisite hurt of inevitable
parting."
        "No!," Endowed protested. "You know what I mean!"
        Sigh. "...and the pain of the quest..."
        "Yeah!," said Elegantly Endowed.
        "...and all the intricate wretchedness in between..."
        "No! Love is =all= there is! 'You're =no=body 'til somebody Loves
you'! Being Loved is the most important thing there is!"
        "I Love you, Love," Suffering whined. "Please Love me..."
        "That's the right attitude to take! Why, if we all Love Love enough,
who knows what we can do? Love is =all= there is to anything!"
        "Ummm," said Sexpert with a larcenous glint in her eyes. "Have
=you= found Love?"
        "...well..." The blonde bit her lip. "...not yet, exactly... But I'll
keep trying!"
        The bartender reared back his head and pointed with his nose, a
gesture of contempt. "Haven't you had enough of that yet?"
        I grinned, resisting temptation. I picked up my bills, leaving the
coins. "As a matter of fact... I have." As I walked out into the reddening
skies Elegantly Endowed said, "Even if there =were= something else, it
wouldn't be as good as Love. That's why I'm waiting. When I find Love, =then=
I can worry about =my= life."


 =Willie!= 
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