SYSOP'S NOTE:  I would be remiss in my duties if I failed to tell 
you  that  this  is  from PANEGYRIA volume 2,  number 8,  and was 
downloaded from Earthrite BBS (415-651-9496).  PANEGYRIA costs $8 
per year,  and their address is Box  85507,  Seattle,  WA  98145.  
              Enjoy! - Talespinner, Sysop WeirdBase

                          PAGAN PORNO?
                           by Pagan X 

[Editor's  note:  This  piece probably ought to be considered  at 
least partly as a publications review,  but it seems to go  some-
what  farther abroad than the limits of that title,  and makes an 
interesting proposal, so we present it here, on its own two feet.  

[Author's note:  If you wish to pass over this Feminist diatribe, 
at least read the last paragraph,  as it contains information  of 
interest to the libidinous.  Thank you.  - Pagan X]

     Once,  long ago and in a bed far away,   a former lover said 
"If  you were blonde with big breasts,  you probably wouldn't  be 
into this Goddess-stuff."

     A real feeling of pain, of sorrow, shot through me, from the 
top of my head to somewhere near my heart.   In my own bed, in my 
own  house,  with  someone who presumably loved me -- I  was  not 
safe,  not  good enough,  not free from comparisons.   Beyond  my 
front  door,  I  knew and accepted the constant battle with  per-
fection:  on posters, billboards, radio ads, TV shows, magazines, 
comic  books  - the Barbie-body,  the  money,  the  make-up,  the 
clothes.  In my own bed I still was not beautiful enough, because 
I  was  not beautiful in the right way,  and this he saw  as  the 
entirety of my religious impulse.

     Just as it bothered me in my own bed,  I find an emphasis on 
a certain form of beauty in Pagan art disturbing.   I look up  to 
Pagan  newsletters as my communication with co-religionists,  for 
the reassurance of their company in my commitment to the Goddess.  
In  a way,  they are family,  and while I don't always expect  to 
read  what I believe on an issue,  I also take them curiously  to 
heart.   And so, I found myself responding strongly to the art in 
"The  Vigil;  A Graphic Journal Of Wiccaen (sic) And Earth  Reli

     Graphic is right!   The cover illustration features a  prone 
female nude upon the pentacle,  all ready to be sacrificed, raped 
or inundated with chocolate sauce for that matter; a very passive 
and  ominous figure.   It was a representation of The Great Rite, 
an aspect of Wiccan iconography beloved by sensational  newspaper 
columnists.   The  favored graphic of this 22 page production  is 
the  naked body of the 16 to 23 year-old caucasian female accoun-
ted for in 22 nipples and 11 breasts behind something,  that's 33 
breasts  in all,  distributed among 31 female  faces.   The  male 
forms, also caucasian, ( none of which were full frontal nudes as 
were many of the women), found a mere five representations.  As I 
have noted, all of them were missing something - phalli.

     I  prepared  to review it negatively on the grounds  of  the 
abysmal punctuation,  spelling and folklore, which it all has.  I 
still feel that anyone who publishes a newsletter and presumes to 
write  should deign to use a dictionary,  but I had to be  honest 
with myself.   I hated this newsletter for the pictures.   Gerald 
Gardner couldn't spell,  and was not the most critical folklorist 
of  his time,  so who am I to talk?   I also have to concede that 
other people have different visions of Goddess,  and have a right 
to  these visions,  even if I think they are the fantasies of  an 
immature  subconscious.   If these people have a revelation  that 
says that Hecate is the same as Persephone, is about 18 years old 
and doesn't wear any clothes,  as long as they don't insist  that 
it's The One True Way of Goddess Worship,  I shouldn't get snotty 
about  the  overuse  of double quotes in  their  newsletter.   My 
religion  is not defined by one man's sexual fantasies (and  that 
includes Gerald Gardner),  but it should be able to include them, 
perhaps  in  a  small,  dark  box somewhere in the bottom of Lake 

     Beauty  is a factor in my worship of the Goddess.   I  don't 
want  to  measure up to an ideal of beauty  that  is  false,  and 
obscene because it is false.   Bo Derek, the Perfect 10, had ribs 
removed  to get a long waist,  I'm told.   I worship the  Goddess 
because She is all women, and the beauty of all women, many kinds 
of  beauty  in many kinds of strengths and  talents,  and  bodies 
shaped  to  different sports,  arts,  and  duties:  scarred  from 
childbirth,  rough-handed from washing dishes and diapers, myopic 
from  reading  in bad light.   The best dancer I ever saw was  an 
immense  black woman,  all pillowed fat;  and under that  fat  of 
living  well,  highly controlled muscles.   She didn't move in  a 
tired,  listless or cautious way,  she didn't stomp or trip;  she 
was completely balanced within herself and radiating the joy of a 
beautiful woman sharing her skill.   I wanted to see many Goddes-
ses  and equally varied priestesses,  breasts drooping from  nur-
sing,  breasts  unformed in childhood,  with wide hips and narrow 
hips and huge hands,  with veins and moles,  with muscles,  stan-
ding, sitting, dancing, drawing, writing...and on top!

     I  want  to see the God represented in a  sexually  exciting 
manner!  One of the five males in The Vigil is the editor's self-
portrait,  the only portraiture, I might add (in other words, the 
only other 'real' person).   In other sacred  literature,  Jawweh 
and His angels wear bathrobes all the time,  or caftans, and even 
poor  Jesus has on at least a bath towel.   Male figures in Pagan 
art  are often choir-robed Druids;  I want to see the God in  no-
thing but His fur,  and not coyly behind some  bush,  either!   I 
want to see him with an erection - it doesn't have to  be  large, 
just  sincere.  Sure,  naked  women are just art nouveau,  but to 
many a naked man is obscenity... dare to print them!  Try to mail 
it!  It doesn't necessarily mean that an editor is a  homosexual.  
Why  should they have all the fun?  (And they do.  There are some 
wonderful Gods in the men's newsletters).  

     I,  Pagan  X,  am a Dread Feminist,  and as a Dread Feninist 
could  be  expected to advocate  censorship.   Actually,  I  like 
nudes,  and I like sex, and I even watch Dark Shadows in the A.M. 
daily on channel 11.   Instead of censoring all the T&A  publica-
tions,  I would like to see a collection of Pagan erotica.  After 
all,  the  Goddess  says,  "All acts of love and pleasure are  my 
rituals,"  and I think I am safe in assuming that a  healthy  in-
terest in sex is one of the stronger lures of the Neo-pagan move-
ments.  Send me your fantasies, poems, pen and ink drawings... of 
meeting the Goddess at the campus coffee shop,  and she,  gently, 
joyfully  divesting  you of your tortured virginity (you  do  not 
have  to  be male to write this one),  of encounters  with  tall, 
dark,  urbane  men,  gaunt  and corpse cold yet with a  world  of 
sorrow  in their eyes,  of dragon-transformations of high- school 
nerds,  of elderly women,  of many women,  many men,  or all  the 
scenes that Dion Fortune glosses over in her novels.   And,  yes, 
if you absolutely must,  drawings of firm-breasted nymphs leaning 
against a pentagram,  because these will be selected by a commit-
tee so that politics will not intrude upon the really exciting.

     We  plan to put out a chapbook,  or possibly even print some 
of  the more reserved works in these hitherto moral  pages.   All 
the proceeds would go toward the Hecate Shrine land fund so  that 
we  can  have more space to run around religiously naked  in  the 
great outdoors to Hecate's honor and glory.  We hope that it will 
be  a product that you will be proud to hide under your mattress.  
Send submissions to Pagan X,  PO Box 85507,  Seattle, WA., 98145.  
This is for real!  I'll be waiting for YOUR submissions, (written 
only, please).        - Pagan X

Lest we forget,  The Vigil is available from The Oaken  Door,  PO 
Box  31250,  Omaha,  Nebraska 68132.  Sample is $2,  subscription 
price is $1.50 per issue,  as it is only published  occasionally, 
and comes in an envelope.