Ayisha's Letter re occult crime resolution at PSG

Date: Fri 04 Nov 88 01:40:26
From: Zhahai Stewart (on 104/93)
To:   All
Subj: Ayisha's Letter re occult crime resolution at PSG

 From: Ayisha Homolka, Box 693, Ukiah, CA., 95482
 To:   All
 Re:   J. Brad "Tailspinner"  Hicks' letter entitled
          "The Church of All Worlds is Lying".
 Date: September 20, l988

     On August 18, I received a call from Don Frew, PR officer for COG, and
was informed of the unfortunate situation that has developed regarding the
resolution concerning our position on ritual abuse and occult crime.  At
that  time he told me about Brad Hick's  letter which originated on this
network.   This was the first that I had heard of it.  Brad Hicks had not
contacted me or  the Church of All Worlds (CAW) to confirm his accusations.
The Church and  myself are being accused of purposely lying about the
validity of the  endorsements that are attached to the resolution.  Brad
also accused me of  altering or rewriting sections of the resolution in an
attempt to falsely get  people to support this document.  In this letter I
am speaking for myself,  Ayisha Homolka, and not for the CAW as a whole or
for the Green Egg.

     At the time of Pagan Spirit Gathering (PSG), my understanding
regarding  the orgin of this resolution was that it was collectively
written/created at  the Ancient Ways Festival at the Northern California
Local COG meeting that  occurred there.  Until I talked to Don Frew, I had
been under the impression  that the meeting had been a legal one and that
the resoluton had been adopted.   In fact, it was not a legal meeting and
the text had been written by two  individuals, Morning Glory and Tanith.  I
had not been at the meeting until  Tanith began speaking about the File18
reports.  She was from the United  Wicccan Church (UWC).

     From Ancient Ways the resolution was taken by Morning Glory of CAW and
to  my understanding by Tanith of UWC to be distributed more widely. I did
not  think about it again until shortly before I left to attend PSG.  Otter
and  Morning Glory asked me to take it to the gathering and see if it could
be  endorsed.  They had just returned from Heartland Gathering and had said
it had  passed there--that there was much support for it.  I was finishing
up my  semester of school until right before I left for Wisconsin and was
quite  preoccupied. I picked up the resolution without much discussion
regarding it  and took off for PSG.

     When there I presented it, first to the Wiccan leadership gathering
and  then at the general village meeting.  At the meeting, a few people had
concerns/questions regarding the  document and indeed, Brad Hicks was vocal
in  his opposition to it.   Due to the time constraints of the meeting
there was  not time to process these concerns.  Because the majority of
people did agree  with it, it was considered passed.  In hindsight, I can
see that the word  unanimously should have been overwhelmingly and in
reality that it was not the  proper forum to have tried to get passage of
such a resolution.  It was  premature and ineffective process.

     As far as the other endorsements on the resolution:  I assumed that
since  Tanith was from the UWC and she was also distributing this
resolution, that  that endorsement was legitimate.  Even though we (CAW)
had not had an official  meeting, I am informed that a quorum of the board
members did agree to it at  Ancient Ways.  It is true that it was not
brought up before the entire Ancient  Ways Gathering and I was not at
Heartland.  The way that the resolution had  been presented to me was that
it was a draft and that these were groups and  gatherings that either had
or would be asked to endorse it.  Because of this  understanding, when Anna
Korn mentioned to me that National COG had not yet  met and could not be
included officially,  it really didn't register.  I was  not regarding this
as an official copy.  I see now, however, that reading the  resolution with
the names attached was misleading, as also when I sent the  form out to
people. It gave it the feeling of being official. As far as the  publishing
of it in Green Egg, I will need to let the editorial staff respond.

     All of this thought concerning this matter is in hindsight.  At the
time  I must admit to being unconscious in my dealing with this issue.  I
did not  really think the situation through.  As soon as PSG was over I
spent a month  at my mothers in Wisconsin and during that time I went into
a state of  regression, caught in the grips of old habits and television,
continuing to be  unconscious.   I completely forgot about my promise to
send out a copy of the  resolution to the 8 people who had requested it at
PSG.  When I finally got it  together to do so, I just sent them out not
yet aware of the mistaken  endorsements.

     In fact, it was not until Don Frew called me to tell me of these
latest  developments that I woke up to the situation.  And once awake, I am
extremely  embarassed by my lack of presence and thought concerning this
matter. I also  feel regretful for the misrepresentation of any information
on this document  and for the way in which I handled it. I apologize for
any and all inconvience  that this has caused anyone or group.

     In the handling of this matter, there was absolutely no intention on
my  part of purposely misleading or misrepresenting anyone.  I did not read
the  document at PSG and then change it to try and pull the wool over
anyone's eyes  or try to ram rod it down anyone's throat.

     My intention was coming from a genuine feeling that it is necessary
for  us as a Pagan/Wiccan conmunity to deal with this issue in some way.  I
believe  that this is one of the most important issues confronting us today
and it is a  very fragile and dangerous one.  Perhaps this document is not
the most  effective way to go about it and maybe the wording of it is not
what we can  all agree to, I don't know. I do hope, however, that we can
spend our energy  working for a constructive solution through dialoguing
and sharing our  differing points of view, rather than attacking one
another for those  disagreements. I regret that Brad Hicks didn't spend any
of his energy on  contacting me or the CAW to find out what was going on.
And I also regret  that my unconsciousness added fuel to the fire.

     This had been an incredible learning experience for me, as I look at
my  process and work on ways to improve effective communication between
myself and  the community around me.  I for one will be much more aware and
respectful of  honoring the due process that needs to occur between the
germination of an  idea or project and its manifestation.

     After the call from Don Frew, I wrote a similar letter to be taken to
the  COG Grand Council. Since then I have had to deal with many personal
and family  changes in my life and I have not been able to respond on this
network until  now.

     Once again, I apologize for any inconvience and upset that my actions
may  have caused.

Sincerely,  Ayisha Homolka

P.S.  Since the time that I wrote the above there has been another time
delay  due to miscommunication as to how it was going to get put on the
network. I  had thought it was being taken care of and in fact it wasn't;
I just found  out and so here it finally is. It appears that the universe
is colluding with  my own problem of procrastination and really letting me
see the results of it  fully.  While I do have trouble with Brad Hicks
attitude and methods, I would  like to thank him for being a catalyst for
all of the lessons that this has  brought into my life. I have had a good
chance to look at my intentions and  how I may unconsciously misrepresent
something and at the importance of clear  communcication, among others.  I
have also been told that Brad mentioned his  intentions to someone from the
Church. If it was me, I have no recollection of  it.  Ayisha

P.P.S. In addition to the delays mentioned above, this arrived from Ayisha
while I was on vacation, and I did not get it until I returned in late
October; then it took a while longer while I found somebody to convert it
from  Macintosh to IBM formats.  Here it is at last.  zhahai

 * Origin: Adelante - 300 meters above Boulder, CO (Opus 1:104/93)