Level the playing field: begin with a base -5.

Add:

• 1 point for every statement that is widely agreed on to be false.

• 2 points for every statement that is clearly vacuous.

• 3 points for every statement that is logically inconsistent.

• 4 points for every statement that is physically impossible.

• 5 points for each such statement that is adhered to despite careful correction and/or thorough debunking.

• 5 points for each word in all capital letters (except for those with defective keyboards).

• 5 points for each mention of the violation of "The Second Law of Thermodynamics" without reference to open vs. closed systems.

• 10 points for each referral to the "Big Bang" in reference to evolution.

• 10 points if you mention, in any context: "evil".

• 10 points for pointing out that you have gone to school (as if this were evidence of sanity).

• 10 points for every citation of non-biological scientists as experts in biology.

• 10 points for every citation of non-geological scientists as experts in geology.

• 10 points for every citation of engineers as experts in anything other than engineering.

• 10 points for every citation, in any sense, of "Food Technology Scientists".

• 10 points for conflating biopoesis with evolution.

• 10 points for beginning the description of your theory by saying how long you have been working on it.

• 10 points for claiming how many people believe in creation.

• 10 points for offering prize money to anyone who "disproves" or finds any flaws in your claims.

• 10 points for each statement along the lines of "I'm not a biologist/zoologist/geologist/paleontologist/immunologist/ geneticist/etc.'ist, nor have I had any formal training or experience as such; but those that do are all wrong and I'm right."

• 10 points for arguing that evolution is "only a theory", as if this were somehow a point against it.

• 10 points if you ask for "proof" in anything other than geometry class or Happy Hour.

• 10 points for arguing that while an evolutionary theory predicts phenomena correctly, it doesn't explain "why" they occur.

• 10 points for each favorable agreement with Morris, Gish or one or the other Drs. Snelling.

• 10 extra credit points for favorable agreements with Biblical mythology.

• 10 extra-extra credit points for mentioning "Noah", "Nimrod" or "Mephistopheles".

• 10 points for mentioning the phrase "global scientific conspiracy".

• 20 points for each quote from mainstream science that is in excess of 15 years old. (Extra credit points (one per year) if the quote is over 50 years old).

• 20 points for utilizing the terms "coal formation" and "Mt. St. Helen's" together.

• 20 points for citing non-scientific works as authorities on science.

• 20 points for every use of science fiction works or myths as if they were fact.

• 20 extra credit points if you cite any article in the Reader's Digest.

• 20 points for defending yourself by bringing up (real or imagined) ridicule accorded to your, or the author your defending's, past claims.

• 20 points for each use of the phrase "evolutionist".

• 25 points for each use of the phrase "Godless atheists".

• 30 points for each use of Scripture.

• 35 points for suggesting that a famous figure secretly disbelieved in a theory which he or she publicly supported. (e.g., that Darwin recanted evolution on his deathbed (a.k.a., the "Lady Hope fable".)).

• 40 points for comparing those who argue against your ideas to Nazis, stormtroopers, or brownshirts.

• 40 points for claiming that the "scientific establishment" is engaged in a "conspiracy" to prevent your work from gaining its well-deserved fame, or suchlike.

• 40 points for claiming that when your theory is finally appreciated, present-day science will be seen for the sham it truly is. (30 more points for fantasizing about show trials in which scientists who mocked your theories will be forced to recant. 35 extra-extra credit points if you fantasize about anyone "burning in Hell" for not accepting your claims.)

• 50 points for claiming you have a "creation scientific" theory but giving no concrete testable predictions.

• 50 points for partial, misleading or out of context quotes of mainstream scientific literature.

• 100 points for attributing anything to (a) God(s).

Any score greater than zero and you can be positive it's creationist claptrap.