gogirl723@... asked this question on 5/17/2000:
My husband was diagnosed with clinical depression. He was given zoloft. It worked beautifuly. However, he doesn't think he needs it now and has been off it for about 2 months. He is taking St. Johns Wart instead. My children and I can see and feel the difference in his personality. He is a time bomb again and the least thing sets him off. He also acts depressed, and realizes he is at times but refuses to take zoloft again. He has blamed zoloft for a sexual problem (has erection but can not ejaculate) but off zoloft, he still has this problem, but says he has more feeling and is getting closer to being able to ejaculate. Is there anyway i can get hime back on this drug? He has tried others and they don't work, zoloft was perfect. Our daughter also takes zoloft(19), she had the same problem with depression. Off of zoloft he is selfish, mean, tempermental, short tempered, and generally not nice to be around. I'm getting close to wanting a divorce. Help if you can.
ScreenMentor gave this response on 5/17/2000:
If I were in your position I would tell him his behavior is unacceptable. If he can't control himself without the Zoloft then he had better get back on it or get out.
gogirl723@... asked this follow-up question on 5/17/2000:
Your's is the shortest and most direct answer yet. Have you had personal experience with a problem similar to this? Do I detect a hint of bitterness here.
I wish I could be like that, and give him an ultimatum, but #1. It goes against my personality. #2 I'm chicken. But if pushed hard enough I will do it. Also, after an episode, he's always so aplogetic. and then is really nice, like he's trying so hard. But really, this brings to mind the pattern of one who is emotionally abusive doesn't it?
I'm gonna need that shove I guess.
thanks anyway.
ScreenMentor gave this response on 5/17/2000:
I have had experience in this area. And there is some bitterness over how much loving time is lost while people hesitate to use needed medication.
I had to get a lot of support in order to reach that point. Al-Anon helped me learn that my allowing him to be disabled only kept him that way.
Why would you want to settle for living with a man who is "selfish, mean, tempermental, short tempered, and generally not nice to be around."? Is this what you and your children deserve?
Why give up a man who could be loving, a man whose children could be proud of him?
Apologies after the fact don't change the fact. Tell him if he is really sorry he will do what he knows has to be done.
Tell him to try other drugs. I've heard that Celexa is less likely to have the negative effect on his libido.
If you are chicken to tell him because you think he will become physically abusive then you know that it's only a matter of time before he does hurt someone. Don't live ignoring a time bomb because you will never be able to ignore the consequences.
gogirl723@... asked this follow-up question on 5/17/2000:
When I read it, in black and white. The answer is so obvious. Thank you.
ScreenMentor gave this response on 5/17/2000:
Let me know how it goes.
The average rating for this answer is 5.
gogirl723@... rated this answer a 5.