Lifesconsultant asked this question on 5/8/2000:

Hi Dave, Thank you for your comment. Yes, I had lived with depression in its' degrees most of my life. I lived a "circumstancial" life. Depending on what was going was "how I felt" and there is where I my limits were set. I didn't realize until 8 years ago, "I had a choice". I was suicidal, hated life as "I knew it" and with medications, I was able to lose more control over my life. Through therapy I was able to learn the truth about myself and what I expected from others were unrealistic.

This is what happened to me and everyone has their own "demons" if you want to call them that or it could be chemical or trama or whatever. The important thing I did, was I learned and once I accepted my own limitations, the easier it was for me to accept others and LIFE in general.

When I do help people, I listen to them and validate their "feelings". And together we come up with something that is realistic and that can work for them. I don't live their life and I don't pretend that it's easy. I went through what I "had" to go through to "now" appreciate my life and "live".

I wish you the best. Kathy

pain1 gave this response on 5/8/2000:

Hi Kathy

Many thanks for your message. It clears up several questions I was going to ask you.

I too have lived the real life of a depressive..and still do. I too have been to courses for non drug help, in a bid to manage my depressions. Unfortunatley for me my depressions are brought about because of constant and chronic, uncuralble, spinal pain. I live with pain 24/7 and this, along with the medication I need to ease that a little I have little ability to control my emotions or feelings of desperation.

I also take the depressive medications too..they simply take away the hard, outer, shell that prevents me seeing the real world and being able to mix in with it. My courses were all about "thoughts and feelings"..."the cycle of depression" and the Causes of pain and depression. I know all about the ups and downs of it all, how our unhelpful thoughts are the biggest enemy we have. How we need helpful thoughts in order to counter the unhelpful ones. I also attend therapy on a regular basis, as well as taking an active role in the teachings of non medication treatment. As I say I have little choice over the question about the use drugs...my pain has all the power and without the "chemical" assistants then I would be dead and gone long ago.

I am, and always will be, an advocate of trying everything to avoid the drugs but also understand their worth in the early days of depression. In order to get to the root of depression one needs a reasonably clear mind so as to be able to recall, with as little pain as possible, the reasons for the depressions. I agree that often people will say they are depressed when in fact they are little more than fed up, frustrated at worst. This is the type of person who is using drugs with no real need. Doctors tend to ask one or two questions and then deal out prescriptions for the antidepressive drugs with little, if any, thought as to the long term problem being caused.

I guess I believe that there is a need for many, and most, types of help when dealing with matters of the mind. Quite clearly there is a need to have drugs available in some cases...they do help, of that I am 100% certain. Of course there is then the need to withdraw them once the problem is better controlled...this is where they fall down. Far too many people are left on these drugs long term. I see the need for phycological(?) treatment too. I have "reduced" my medication following help from a fantastic professional. I am able, now, to feel the changes happening, I am able to read the signs and I am, thereby, able to prepare for, and deal with, the major attacks as they crop up.

So as far as most things go we seem to agree but where I worry is when people say that any use of drugs is wrong. Drugs are only part of the treatment I agree..but a major part if anything else is to have the chance of working. Anyone who has been there will know that we are not thinking well, not being helpful or truthful when depressed. We have hate for ourselves, digust with ourselves and all of this prevents even the basics to be talked through. The drugs help relax the mind enough to allow a start...and so long as there is assesment throughout then these can, as I said before, be eased off as things improve.

At my worst I had the pills and the bottle of drink out, I was crying like a baby, I hated myself and the thought of letting my family down. I just wanted out and despite everything this was my sole aim...Thank God my wife found me before too much harm was done. This was a long time ago now but it was also the start of the antidepression drugs..for me. They have saved my life and continue to play a very important role in it, as do all the other things we speak of here.

I wish you luck in your quest to help others and hope you will find, as I have, great satisfaction in knowing you have made a difference, no matter how small, in someones life.

Good luck and keep at it

Dave (UK)

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