Anonymous asked this question on 5/2/2000:

Hi,

I am 26 yrs old and I am feeling severely depressed for several reasons. I broke up with my girlfriend last year and I feel that I have hurt her badly, but I really don't think she was right for me (as in building a future, marriage, etc).

It was a shock because we dated for 6 yrs, and I knew she wasn't "right" for quite some time and kept postponing breaking up our relationship. She is a very nice girl and at least I didn't "dump" her for another or anything. I'm still not seeing anyone and I think that she knows this. I don't want to hurt her but I also don't want to give her false hopes by calling and writing; but by not doing so I fear she must think I am extremely mean and that I don't care for her. It was somehow expected that we would marry after all that time and maybe I'm just not up to that.

Another reason I am depressed is that I have a Business Administration degree (and have had an excellent education) and I feel I have a pretty lousy job. I often reply to ads and go to interviews but I don't have much success with these. I feel that I'm "stuck" professionally. I work many hours and I feel that I don't have enough free time to enjoy. I am constantly stressed.

Also, my family was quite wealthy once but now my parents are almost broke and I worry for them. I would like to help them out and perhaps open a shop with them (we could borrow the money from rich relatives) but I feel that I need my independence as well, and that if I worked in a shop FOR them then I would never really be independent! I love them very much and seem to care for them more than my sisters! I have been thinking of how it would be to leave my job and do the shop thing, but I fear that then I really would not progress in any career (I always had an idea that I would make it big!)

I am also afraid I've messed up my reputation by doing something very stupid (didn't harm anyone or anything like that...more like made a fool out of myself), word gets around, and I don't know how to recover from that incident. I feel that every body knows what happened or at least notices that my behaviour has changed since then (by being so paranoid perhaps?).

I don't have any friends and my friends live 200 miles away! I took my degree in another city (made friends there) and have moved back to live with my parents a year after graduation. I have lost contact with past friends or found that we have different interests now.

And oh yes, I recently discovered that I have male pattern baldness (balding) and I am going quite fat (slacking). I plan to start exercising but keep on postponing it!

Lately I may be drinking slightly too much (I've always liked drinking...sometimes I would exaggerate when I would go out.but it never REALLY got out of hand otherwise).

As you can see, plenty of reasons to be depressed!

I think I may be coping quite well actually, considering. This could be due to a strong character (never have been the depressed type, rather the contrary) but even so it's really starting to put a strain on me. I also live in a sunny country, which helps. I am constantly thinking of how shitty my life has become and have troubles sleeping properly at night (which doesn't help at work!).

A handful!

Thanks to anyone who cares to give me his or her views!

Jason4U22 gave this response on 5/10/2000:

Depressed, and unhappy,

Hi...I can understand why you would be depressed. You have a lot of issues going on at one time. The only way you can handle them is one at a time. Sometimes, we get ourselves in a so called rut, as to where we need some help to get over it. I would suggest that you get some counceling. You would be amazed as to how much it would help you. It is normal for people to be depressed, but no longer than 2 months, at the most. Lets get to the issue of the drinking. Drinking is a depressant, which will make you even more depressed, so try to stay away from alcohol. I'm not saying you have a problem with alcohol, but when were depressed we tend to want to drink more, which does us no good what so ever. now for success, your only 26 years old you have a good 50 years left. As for the girl, I would suggest that you go and apologize to her, I think that would make you feel better. I wish you all the luck in the world, and hope that I have helped you some what. Remember, your not crazy at all your just depressed, and if you ever have a suicidal thought, go to the E.R ASAP

The average rating for this answer is 4.

Anonymous rated this answer a 4.