AnnieS asked this question on 5/2/2000:

Hi, I'm a 36 year old female with a history of drug and alcohol abuse(12-25), several dysfunctional relationships, Sexual abuse(11), rape(21). I have been clean and sober for the past 11 years, gone through extensive psychotherapy(of which I found to be very benificial), I was relationship-less for 5 years and became quite sucessful and independent throughout that time. My question is this: up until very recently I believed, (and have been diagnosed with), Major Depression. I remember feeling depressed as far back as I can remember. My mother describes my moods like this, "you're up & down, up & down." My best friend of 34 years has always sworn I was Bipolar, and everyone else I know is always saying, "you're so moody." Until very recently, I wouldn't even entertain the idea of being Bipolar, (nor would the therapists), because of what I, and they, thought to be, an absence of manic episodes. I hang on to my "happy times" for dear life. They don't last long, and I'm never sure why they're there. But until recently, I never questioned the lack of reason, I just grabbed on to these very brief periods and enjoyed them while I had them. However, recently I have become more aware of these times because I am unable to sleep for very long during these times, I fall asleep for a few hours, awake, and am unable to get back to sleep. That's if I'm even able to get to sleep much before dawn. I've also noticed that I can be feeling happy one moment and have it turn into extreme irritability the next. Irritability to the point of being enraged. I'm over active, easily distracted, almost foggy or hazey at times. Recently I read about Biploar II. Do you think there's a possibility that I have this type of Bipolar? I feel like I'm on a mood roller coaster much of the time, and swing in and out of these moods so rapidly sometimes that I have difficulty distinguishing how I truly feel about most everything. It leaves me feeling very indecisive and confused. There doesn't seem to be any apparent reason for these shifts in mood. Up until now I've refused medication for the depression for fear of becoming active in my addictions again, but am returning to therapy to explore the possibility of meds, as the depression has become much more severe over the past two years, and I'm not sure I can handle it without the meds any longer. I intend to discuss the possibility of Bipolar with my new psychologist, but would like as many opinions, and as much input as I can get before I go. Anything you can offer would be greatly appreciated, and to all of you that have already answered me; Thank You so much!!!! Annie S.

pain1 gave this response on 5/4/2000:

Hi Annie

I am a chronic depressive because of, and as a result of, constant chronic pain. I have been this way for over 13yrs now and take many, and varied, medications...none that I am addicted to.

I have to say that this term "bipolar" seems to be far too easily diognosed now. It is like ADHD for badly behaved children...a hook to hang the thing on because they can't, or dont't, find anything else.

There is very little difference between being chronicly depressed and bipolar, according to many medics but your explaination seems to lead directly to chronic depression. Almost every symptom you talk of I have. I am up and down all the time, I hang on to the few good times and I am always confused, muddled and forgetful. None of that is down to drugs, as you say you have avoided them and yet, despite me being on medication, I still get the same.

So whay am I on the medication??? Simple answer is it helps me to better controle, remain able to deal with things and reduces the effects of the things we speak of. I am able to live a life far closer to acceptable, for me, than I ever could without them.

If I were in your possition, with the knowledge I have gained over the years, I would accept medication with no hesitation at all. It is controled by your doctor, any side effects are minimul and, I am almost 100% certain, that no medication becomes adictive unless it is not treating something. By this I mean if you are neither depressed nor bipolar then maybe your body might start to crave the drug, that is because it has nothing to do other than affect your brain. If, however, you are depressed or bipolar then it has a job to do and so long as it is being affective at easing that then you are unlikely to become dependant.

I take regular breaks from all of my medications, and I am on some very strong ones, including morphine for the pain, yet I have no problems, other than a return of the pain and depression. I have never, not once, fallen apart because I have stopped, or relaxed a drug. I do accept though that some people do become dependant far easier than others so I guess it is not impossible..just, I feel, unlikely.

I feel you are, as I said, depressed, and very much so, but am not sure that any doctor could confirm the bipolar bit because your condition, and actions, are so close to those of chronic depressives. But which ever it is you should, I feel, consider going on medication...it can make life so much easier to manage...but, of course, is not a cure. This means it needs to be used in conjunction with other specialist help...therapy... Please consider anything and everything, what is there to lose????

I wish you great sucess in finding the right medication and help, I hope you may be one of the lucky few who manages to get back to a near "normal" life quickly. Also that the medication can be withdrawn sooner rather than later.

Best wishes

Dave (UK)

The average rating for this answer is 5.

AnnieS rated this answer a 5.

Thanks Pain 1, your answer was quite infromative. Annie S.