treseq asked this question on 4/22/2000:

I and my wife, Karen, have been married for 11 years. My son is 9 and my daughter is 3.

My wife has a temper problem and things that happened to her when she was in school and with her family, which spreads to all areas of our marrige, ie relationships with family, friends, children and neighbours and myself.

I have somehow managed to survive this. She has left home since eight weeks and would like to reunite. We have discussed our problems and both agreed that this was the main barrier.

My wife has this problem much before our marriage ie with her parents, brothers and sister. She has deep rooted issues in her which I am unable to help despite my best efforts. She has realised that if we do decide to reunited this issue will have to be addressed properly with concrete ways of handling this.

She has been to psycologist and she says that they are of no use as they only give her anti-depressant medication, which she refuses to take.

I would like to keep this family united but I am affraid if this is not solved we will be back to sqare one! We have seperated 3 times before and I cannot take this nor is it conductive for the children.

If you can guide me in some direction that we can look to solve this problem I do not know how I could repay you.

Should you require more information that will help you to put me in the right direction for help please contact me on seqtreka@yahoo.com

Thank you Trevor Sequeira

CeeBee gave this response on 4/23/2000:

Hello, Trevor --

There is no choice but that your wife MUST go to a family doctor/psychiatrist. He/she will probably give her a prescription for an anti-depressant or perhaps some other medication. (Maybe she would feel more comfortable with a woman doctor or at least a doctor kind enough to talk gently with her to explain the value and importance of medication.)

And it will be very important for your wife to take this medication as prescribed. Only a medicine that can improve her brain chemistry (signals are not going to the correct places for some reason) will give her enough relief from her anger and rage. Then she will be able and willing to improve her life by meeting regularly with a counselor, joining a support group, and doing other things that will help her resolve her childhood issues. Only then will peace and calm come into her life.

I hope and pray this will the beginning of a new life for your marriage and your family!

CeeBee cb.425@inil.com

The average rating for this answer is 4.

treseq rated this answer a 4.