lwfletcher@... asked this question on 4/17/2000:

I have a 7 year old female child with hydrocephelus. (3 shunts) She does not walk, and has a limited vocabulary. She does not communicate when asked questions

How do I cope with the daily hurt and depression that I experience while taking care of her?

targhee gave this response on 4/18/2000:

Dear lwfletcher,

I have spent time working with children with disabilities and I admire all parents who have children with these needs.

In your situation, I highly recommend that you get a good support system around you. That would include: family, relatives, schools, religious groups, other parents with a child with a similar handicap or another handicap. Parenting a handicap child cannot be done alone. Support is the best way to adjust and to cope.

I also recommend that you see if there are government services that can provide you assistance in terms of hiring someone to help work with your child. If you haven't done this I highly recommend it. I actually went to families homes and spent time doing occupational, speech, and physical therapy with the children. It was a great experience.

As for you, I think support is important so you can get out and do things by yourself. You need to take breaks so you don't get burnt out. Many parents of handicapped children feel guilty because they need time alone. It is better that you get a break because your child can feel your frustration. A break will provide you with renewed energy and strength. It will make you a better parents.

I wish you the very best!

Targhee

ps. if you have any other questions please let me know.