mimililac asked this question on 5/3/2000:

I am concerned about a close friend of mine. She's 18 yrs old and is slowly taking a turn for the worst. First of all she is severely moody. We literally walk on egg shells and hide things from her that might make her angry. She's not violent but she does not refrain from yelling and throwing fits. Second, she is extremely particular about people touching her. Other than myself and another close friend of hers, no one is allowed to touch, hug, or even brush her. If this does happen she will discuss it for at least the next hour and says she feels like she can still feel them touching her. She has also begun to speak about suicide. Her and her other friend talk about it on a regular basis, because they feel that the world is too terrible of a place to live in. Most importantly, she rocks constantly. I can't say it's because she's hyperactive because she's about 75 lbs overweight. This significant weight gain has occured within the last two years. What's wrong with her and can I do anything to help?? She claims that her mother will not send her to counseling because she doesn't want to admit that one of her children has a problem.

karunap gave this response on 5/3/2000:

Someone needs to talk to the mother. Her daughter's life is in jeopardy and she definitely needs counseling. It sounds like she has a lot of repressed trauma.... or known trauma.... and the feelings are all coming to the surface. She needs a counselor that does active work to help people release the feelings and work through the traumas rather than just medicate them away.

There are things that she can do while she is looking for a therapist.

Depression is most often due to stuffing one's feelings….. particularly anger. The first step in moving out of the depression is to start doing feeling work. I suggest people do 15-60 minutes a day of feeling work.

There are many forms of feeling work she can do. Some examples:

Write lists of mads, sads and scares. Journal about past and present feelings, Feel them as she writes. Write angry letters and then destroy them Twist a towel Pound a pillow. Push against a wall pretending she is pushing away people she is angry with. Scream into a pillow or pool. Stomp as you walk

She needs to talk to your friends….. find ways to increase her support system. Improve her diet and exercise patterns

Read GOOD GRIEF RITUALS, LETTING GO OF SUFFERING and GROWING UP AGAIN.

It is essential she get into treatment.