Anonymous asked this question on 4/15/2000:

Hi, my name is Fabiano I am 18 years-old

My childhood was a kind of sad... I wasn't being abused, but I missed some praising, friends and health activities, such as sports, clubs, etc...

Then I develped, a inferiority complex, and a low self-esteem with the age of 12 to 15

Then I start to use drugs to find confidence, wellness and emotion. age 15-17

After that, I had some spiritual aspects and happenings. I stopped with all drugs. 17

Now, my goal in life is develop a good mind. I have very bad social beliefs in my mind.

But also, I have read tons of books, and had a lot of contacts with many religions, out-of-body center of study and other places

This, makes me think that I am really special, and I have the best common-sense in the world. In my mind now, I think that I have a awesome knoledge and the best common-sense.

I also wear masks in the school, and I feel fake walking in the hallways...

I try to do a lot of mental work to get my mind used to good thoughts... I can say that I have a resonable self-discipline with doing my mental daily routine.

I have no friends, and makes me really sad, because I feel like I have a bad energy.

The weird part that I have a really positive speech, but I have a negative subconsciousness

My main problems are: 1. Not feeling that I am being myself 2. Don't having friends 3. Not living a real life

Do you have a advice, or a experience to tell me... ? I am tired of the same problems over and over again...

Thank you very much, Fabiano

hnour gave this response on 4/17/2000:

dear anonymous i really admire your insight into yourself,also i am deeply happy that u reached the good choice regarding the drug stuff. u seems to be a good intellgible person with a very good background about many things.but all your problems i guess are centered around your current relationship with people around,which makes you feel bad about your self and that you are not living a real life. well,i guess real life my friend is different from one to another,and there is no such a standrdized real life,also regarding friends there is no need to have a lot of them only one is good of it was the right real one. so what i think in short that you definiely have the good base for all the apporpriate good start but the different way of intrpreting things and motives and people might be slightly different from your perspective to others,so i think you might benifit from a therapist who will be able to understand your ways of thinking and reflect it back to you to see it clear,i dont belive that his role will be directive rather than illuminating. finally i think the whole life is still infont of you and there is no hurry to take decisons regarding your life i think you are doing a great job by reading and abstaining from deletorious things. thank you for trusting me on your history and please feel free to contact me if you have any thing in mind. hnour

Anonymous asked this follow-up question on 4/17/2000:

Dear hnour

I liked your answer But, what are the things I could be doing by now ? I am not in depression I just need some orientation, concentration Good thoughts,

Anonymous asked this follow-up question on 4/17/2000:

Dear hnour

I liked your answer But, what are the things I could be doing by now ? I am not in depression I just need some orientation, concentration Good thoughts,

Anonymous asked this follow-up question on 4/17/2000:

Dear hnour

I liked your answer But, what are the things I could be doing by now ? I am not in depression I just need some orientation, concentration Good thoughts,

hnour gave this response on 4/18/2000:

dear Mr.Fabiano thank you for your precious feedback. what i meant by deletorious things is drug abuse that u were on the verge of falling into for the rest of your life and that one of the things i deeply admired you for. i am totaly with you,you are not depressed but you have some sad feelings and thoughts that might affect your future plans to somehow. and again i am with you for your goal for orienatation,concentration and good thoughts,and if you find a good person to help you to get all that this will be a very valuable one wether he will be a therapist or relative or friend.... thank you alot for feeding me back,and i will be here whenever you need. hnour