Anonymous asked this question on 3/20/2000:

My husband's sister is constantly competing with everyone around her.Is this a mental disorder? She also suffers from depression, anxiety, bad nerves,anti-social behaviour. You hate to be around her because she is so phony, and selfish. When we got married, she got married. When her sister got pregnant for the first time she decide she would have another baby after ten years since her first one. Her sister and her baby were born a month apart. It's constant competition with her. She gets into debit trying to keep up with everyone. She has no friends because of it. Is there a name for this? And what should we do about it. We tried talking to her and her husband years ago but got nowhere. She said she didn't realized she was doing this. And she is still doing it today. She doesn't see what she doing and therefore counseling is out of the question. Her doctor just gives her drugs when she gets depressed and her nerves are bad. Her father suffered anxiety attacks and had alot of mental problems also. We are so sick of this situation we have chosen not see her unless we have to. She has just bought a house with the same main floor plan as ours and the top floor is the same as her sister's house. When she comes over now I feel she is taking notes on how our house is decorated so she can copy it. What do we do?

Liveagain gave this response on 3/27/2000:

Behavior depends alot on birth order and environment. From the way you have described her behavior, your sister-in-law grew up in a very comptetive family. Her worth was placed upon her being the best and having the best. When she feels like she is and has less then the best it puts her into a depressed state. It sounds like she might be manic. Has she ever been diagnosed with this? Also, her father's behavior while she was growning up had an effect on her. Girls are much closer to there father than mother at very important times in their lives. She is trying to be just like daddy. Her behavior also shows that she actually has an inferiority complex which often manifasts itself in an excessive aggressiveness which she certainly displays. Good luck.

The average rating for this answer is 4.

Anonymous rated this answer a 4.