Anonymous asked this question on 7/12/2000:

Is it possible for a man to love a woman and care nothing about his own mother? If he can't help her out when she needs it, will he be able to help me? And my second question is: Why do most black atheletes turn to white women instead of their own race? I'm not prejudice, but all women are not money hungry.

SeekTrueLove gave this response on 7/12/2000:

Dear Anonymous,

I think that it's possible, but a remote one.

I just cannot believe that a man could completely ignore his mother and not care or love her, unless of course, she had abused him in some way as a child. Even then, from what I read in some dating literature, the best way to tell how a man will treat you as a wife or girlfriend is to see how he treats the females in his own family, especially his mother.

A man's way of socializing with women has a lot to do with what environment he was raised in. That is why many people continue familial patterns more often than not.

If a father figure abuses or mistreats his wife, then the son often learns from this behavior as he is exposed to it for most of his formative years. If a husband treat his wife with respect and love, then more likely than not the son will treat his own wife the same way, if not better.

So to sum up question # 1: I think that if a man refuses to help his own mother, then chances are (at least down the road) that he would also abandon his own wife's needs. Of course there are exceptions, but I'd rather not take a chance.

As far as question # 2: sociologists or anthropologists might argue that the reason black athletes (I'm assuming successful ones) date white women is "status trading".

A black man (seen as lower in society's race status pole) would trade his wealth and success as an athlete (highly regarded in our society) to date a white woman (seen as higher in society's race status pole but lower on the gender and wealth aspects). This status trading puts both higher up on society's status ladder due to averaging.

So if a successful black athlete were to date a black woman, he has really not moved anywhere. If anything, her gender and race status would actually hold him back.

Of course these are just sociological theories which might not make any sense to anybody. After all, Magic Johnson has been with his black wife for many many years and that hasn't held back on his success.

So #2 is really a wonder. I wish I could give you a better answer.

Hope this has helped.