psychomania asked this question on 7/11/2000:

Somebody help me, Somebody please. oh yeah! Just to be there. C'mon everybody guess i'll take my time! Oh yeah! Just to be there. This is psychomania asking all you so called experts. How do I put my heart back together again? Don't tell me none of you know who I am? I am that lonely old guy you pass in the park, I am the street urchin in rags, I am the beggar man you never give any money to. I am the husband without the wife, I am the father without the children. I am the doubting Thomas Who will never believe. Christ forgive me? I do not fit in anywhere. CAN YOU HELP ME? A real nowhere man, I am still in pain with my back, and school began for me last Saturday. I am so lost and tired, I wish I were dead. Anything has got to be better than this meagre, poverty stricken, highway of sexlessness, drugs and loneliness. Can you fuck as like, help me!!!!!!!!!!!. See you all for now. Answers are what I require!!!!!!!!

LadyMara gave this response on 7/12/2000:

Interesting....

Well, first things first. You commented about drugs? Well, that would seem to be the first place to start.... Any decent women are NOT going to want to be bothered with you if you continue to use them....

Then you state that you are in pain? Your back? Well, if you need help kicking the "drug" habit, there are doctor's prescribed drugs that you can get for the pain, and while they are at it, they can give you something to help you get over any addiction.

Or, you can look for a more natural approach. There are herbal teas that can help you with your addictions and with pain...but only if you have a strong nature. You sound stubborn enough (grin). You just have to want it enough!

You do not know what to believe? Ok....you need to tell someone what you want first before they can help you.... You said that you want help. Nothing is free or easy in this world and trying to disappear into a drug induced haze is NOT helping, as it appears that you have found out. The moment you come back out of your high, the problems and lonliness are still there, right?

You mentioned school? How old are you? I hate the thought of a young person feeling that life sucks....many times it seems to when you are younger.... adults don't always give you the respect that you need to grow right..... and if you are an adult, perhaps you missed out on some of that respect and are still missing it....

I am sure that you have some good qualities. You just need some practice in recognizing them. You say you don't fit in anywhere. Do you make an effort to fit in anywhere? How often do you try? And, I still go back to the comment about the drugs.... not too many people who don't use drugs are going to want you around if you have drugs in your life. The biggest and best way to give people a reason to want you around would be to put the drugs out of your life. If you don't believe me, take a chance and try it..... what do you have to loose? If it doesn't work you can go back to your drugs and isolation! Right?

And who knows? Perhaps some nice lady will see all the progress you have been making and want to get to know you better? You won't know until you try it!!

Good luck, I will be praying for you!

love,

LadyMara

psychomania asked this follow-up question on 7/12/2000:

My dear girl all the drugs I am on are prescribed by my GP and psychiatrist. If I were a deciple I would have been Doubting Thomas. Thankyou for answering my plea. I will pray for you tonight at church. God bless. Psychomania.

LadyMara gave this response on 7/12/2000:

Oh sweetheart! I am soooo sorry (smile). You try not to assume, but you gave me no idea that these were prescription drugs!! I have been there before myself, so I should have known better. But your despair gave the impression that you had a problem with drugs.

If you know the Lord, why do you feel so alone? Surely there are others in your congregation who appreciate you? I am totally confused as to what you were requesting from us in the first place.

I hope that you do not feel that this forum is a joke. If this is a serious plea, I hope that someone is able to figure out what you want and need and are able to assist you.

I commented on some herbal remedies in my last letter. I went the course with physicians prescribing everything under the sun some of which was to to fix what the other drugs did! And I learned a lot about homeopathic and natural cures.

I hope that it is not God that you doubt.... good luck, and I will pray for you also!

love,

LadyMara

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