Anonymous asked this question on 7/12/2000:

well here goes, my boyfriend and i are in a very long distance relationship, and we've met twice, once for nine days and once for 17 days, the first time we met, i was a virgin, so he was very gentle with me, and we moved very slowly, but the thing is when we were both ready, he couldnt get an erection, so we figured it was a combination of things, his worry over hurting me, the distance he'd traveled, anxiety over wanting it to be perfect, and so on. well the second time we met, he could get an erection, but could not keep it, so we still didnt make love properly, he says he's never had problems before, and when i talk to him on the phone now, (dont read the rest if youre easily offended) he gets hard and comes, so im wondering whats wrong with me? i mean how come when we're together we have problems, he assures me that its nothing to do with me, but im having a hard time believing that much longer any advice would be appreciated thanks

becca_shs01 gave this response on 7/12/2000:

First of all, it's NOT your fault. He is obviously very turned on by you. But, if he can't get it up when it's time and he nuts when you're on the phone, he has a problem. There are medications (viagra, etc.) that can help him out while he's with you. I'm no doctor, but I do know that this behavior is not normal. Also, I think maybe he's lying when he said that he's never had this problem before, b/c you're not doing anything wrong. Maybe it's all mental, and he's just worried about hurting you or something else like you said. If that's what it is, maybe you two should have a long talk before you try sex again. Tell him that you're really ready and that you care about him and that everything is okay and maybe he'll feel better and more confident. Ask him to see a doctor, and maybe get a prescription, and the next time you're together- have fun!!!