jyo asked this question on 7/12/2000:

HI THERE I M SO FUCKIN CONFUSED I DONNO WHAT TO DO NE MORE. I CHAT A LOT ON THE INTERNET AND I MET A GUY FROM MY CITY ON THE CHAT AND WE STARTED DATING BUT THEN THINGS WENT WRONG SINCE WE HAD DIFFERENT RELIGIONS AND WE HAD DIFFERENT TIMING OF OUR JOBS SO WE COULD HARDLY EVER GET IN TOUGFH NE WAYS WE BROKE UP CAZ ONCE HE CALLED ME AND I WAS ON THE CHAT WITH HIS YOUNGER BROTHER AN DI TOLD HIM TO HANG ON I HAVE TO LOGG OFF FROM THE NET HE THOUGHT THAT I SAID I WAS TALKING TO MY OTHER BF BUT IN REALITY I DONT HAVE ANY OTHER BOY FRIEND. I LOVE THIS GUY WITH ALL MY HEART BUT I JUST COULDNT TAKE THE ABUSIVE LANGUAGE HE USES WHEN EVER HE GETS UPSET SO WE BROKE UP AND I STILL LOVE HIM WE BOTH STILL GO ON THE CHAT AND NOW HE IS DATING ANOTHER GIRL FROM THE CHAT ROOM AND I M SO HURT. I DONNO

SeekTrueLove gave this response on 7/12/2000:

Dear jyo,

First of all, I'm sorry things have been so tough for you. Love is a very complicated thing sometimes. However, your current situation has shed light on a few things.

The difference in religions may be a problem. When one person has relatively strong faith in their religion, and the other is not of the same religion (regardless of how devout they are) this could lead to some conflicts. Anytime one person has a high priority in some aspect of their life, and the other person doesn't share it, problems often occur. Incompatibility in important issues.

Secondly, your boyfriend seems to be a jealous sort. He feels threatened when you chat on the net (with imaginary other boyfriends) and this causes him to lash out at you with disrespectful language and actions. He is an insecure person, and unfortunately, it's hard him to really believe in your love because he doesn't really love himself.

I suspect that he has taken on and dated another girl on the net because (for the time being) he is able to control her and she gives him exactly what he needs now: an ego boost.

Think really hard about these points. He is incompatible with you in a religious way, plus his insecurity makes him an unstable candidate for a long term relationship. And he doesn't always treat you with the respect and love that you deserve. Also note that abusive language and gestures can sometimes lead to physical abuse, and that's just no good for anybody.

Now you can be patient with him and see if he comes around, but I feel that you might be wasting your time. He needs to work on some issues first, and then he may be ready for a relationship in the future. In the meantime, he's somewhat of a loose cannon.

Better that you get going while the getting's good. You are a better person for the experience, but this situation doesn't sound like a good one to stay in.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but at least I hope this gives you pause for thought in what you decide to do next.

Good luck.