Anonymous asked this question on 7/12/2000:

well here goes, my boyfriend and i are in a very long distance relationship, and we've met twice, once for nine days and once for 17 days, the first time we met, i was a virgin, so he was very gentle with me, and we moved very slowly, but the thing is when we were both ready, he couldnt get an erection, so we figured it was a combination of things, his worry over hurting me, the distance he'd traveled, anxiety over wanting it to be perfect, and so on. well the second time we met, he could get an erection, but could not keep it, so we still didnt make love properly, he says he's never had problems before, and when i talk to him on the phone now, (dont read the rest if youre easily offended) he gets hard and comes, so im wondering whats wrong with me? i mean how come when we're together we have problems, he assures me that its nothing to do with me, but im having a hard time believing that much longer any advice would be appreciated thanks

mordsith9 gave this response on 7/12/2000:

hi anon! is your boyfriend a big fan of masturbation? could be that he's used to having an orgasm a certain way. he could also be nervous about the two of you making love.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!

was your boyfriend sexually active before the two of you met? could be that he's had this problem before and may be afraid to tell you in case he gets embarrassed.

instead of making love when you see him, why don't you try mutual masturbation? maybe that will relax both of you. hey, try everything BUT intercourse and see where that takes you.

good luck!