Anonymous asked this question on 7/12/2000:
I dated this guy for a couple of months over the course of which I lost my virginity to him. before school ( college) got out for the summer I showed up and basically asked what the deal was. He seemed to be pretty honest and basically said he wasn't ready for a serious relationship because of his ex. and that He was going to europe. After the talk I spent the night and went to leave the next morning and he was like come here.. and we kissed. Since then we haven't talked because he refuses too. I also found out that after he got back from europe.. He had sex with his ex again, which he referred to as a whore.. and is going after his professor's daughter. I don't know why I can't seem to let go .. and don't really understand why he couldn't have just said "were done" and left it at that. Instead of hanging up the phone on me, when I call to talk. On top of which I feel stupid for falling for him because he seems like such a player and that I never meant anything to him.
dimensionjumper gave this response on 7/12/2000:
Until men mature, and that can be at any age, they really don't know what they want. They play the field, and feel "trapped" if you ask them to put a little more into the relationship. These men often call their girlfriend's whore, bit--, and worse. That is because they truly care about them. It makes no sense, but that is the way they are.
You deserve better. It hurts you to see him behave like such an idiot, but remember, men do not have the same kind of brain as a female. They are wired differently. A young, immature guy, like the one you've mentioned, isn't worth the trouble. You called him a "PLAYER", and that's exactly what he is.
Unfortunately, this is the first guy you were with, as a lover. That is one reason why you are fixated on him. Please sit down, and make a list of all his bad qualities, and all the things he did to hurt you. Read the list over and over, until you realize, he is unworthy to be your boyfriend! -Hope this helps & believe me, I have been there! DJ