Anonymous asked this question on 7/12/2000:

well here goes, my boyfriend and i are in a very long distance relationship, and we've met twice, once for nine days and once for 17 days, the first time we met, i was a virgin, so he was very gentle with me, and we moved very slowly, but the thing is when we were both ready, he couldnt get an erection, so we figured it was a combination of things, his worry over hurting me, the distance he'd traveled, anxiety over wanting it to be perfect, and so on. well the second time we met, he could get an erection, but could not keep it, so we still didnt make love properly, he says he's never had problems before, and when i talk to him on the phone now, (dont read the rest if youre easily offended) he gets hard and comes, so im wondering whats wrong with me? i mean how come when we're together we have problems, he assures me that its nothing to do with me, but im having a hard time believing that much longer any advice would be appreciated thanks

DearJodi gave this response on 7/12/2000:

Dear Anonymous~ Your boyfriend is absoloutley correct when he says it has nothing to do with you. He is having perfomance anxiety, for the reasons you stated above. maybe the pressure of you being a virgin and wanting it to be "perfect" for you are too much for his man to handle. This will pass as soon as the first initiation into sex for you has passed. Believe me, the first time is not the greatest, it is what you learn from thaen on that makes it more exciting. Just be supportive of him, and let things happen, when they just happen then they run a whole lot smoother than when you have planned them. It really is not you. Peace~ jodi