Anonymous asked this question on 7/12/2000:

okay... Here's the problem my boyfriend that I've been dating and living with for a long while is more in love with me than I'am with him. I really want to move and break things off but every time I start to bring up the subject of it not working he starts acting like a baby and makes me feel sorry for him. We've been having problems for atleast 6 months and I rather move on with my life than be stuck in a bad relationship. please help don't know what else I can do. thanks a bunch

SeekTrueLove gave this response on 7/12/2000:

Dear Anonymous,

You are in quite a tough situation. However, it is in my opinion that you are doing no one a favor by letting this relationship drag on and on.

You have to end it immediately! Easier said than done, right? True. But the longer you wait, the more miserable you will be. And the tougher it will be for you to break free.

Plus, you're not helping your boyfriend either in the long term. Sure, he will still get to love you and be with you in the short term, but really, the relationship destruction is imminent. And the sooner you end it, the sooner both of you can get on with your lives.

Both of you will feel much pain and hurt. You will feel unbearable guilt and he will feel rejected, dejected, and take the whole thing very personally.

Here's the key to the break up...explain to him that the relationship just cannot work out. You two are moving in opposite directions, and it has nothing to do with him personally. You have to go down your own path, and it is a path that he cannot follow. He will still take it personally, but perhaps telling him in this way will make it a bit easier.

No doubt he will try to win you back, tell you that he will change to whatever you want. But reiterate to him that it is YOU who must move on and grow. He just cannot come along. (Actually, it sounds like he needs to do a bit of growing up as well, and this break up, however hard it may be on him, will be one of the best experiences he will have in his lifetime).

Hope this helps. I don't envy your position, but it must be done for the sake of both of your futures.

Good luck.

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