frankmon asked this question on 7/11/2000:

I've been dating this guy for 5 months now. Recently he decided he just wants to be friends, because he is not ready for a relationship right now. he says that I made him the happiest he had ever been, but it's all him and nothing about me? We still see each other and enjoy each others company, but I am confused and don't know what to do.

shrink4u gave this response on 7/11/2000:

Dear frankmon,

I think this is an attempt by your boyfriend to continue getting what he wants without making any commitments. I know it's very hard, but I think you should try to let go of this relationship and move on with your life. While it's hard to let go of someone you really care about, it's ultimately harder NOT to let go when that love isn't reciprocated.

Consider telling him that if he wants to be your friend, he can stop calling you. Explain to him that the only way you'll get over him as a lover is if he's no longer in your life as a friend, for any contact serves as a bruisingly painful reminder of the past. If he does continue calling, don't speak to him, or hang up. He'll get the message and you'll get the space you need to heal.

I wish you a lot of courage and the very best of luck!! Take care!!

Much love, Mary

shrink4u gave this follow-up answer on 7/11/2000:

P.S. If/when he decides he is "ready" for a relationship, try to keep an open mind about it. Remain skeptical at least in the meantime!!

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