Anonymous asked this question on 7/11/2000:
Hello everybody! Hang with me here because i have a lot of questions. Let me explain my situation. My boyfriend left me,or actually kicked me and our daughter as well as my son out of his house, a few months ago. We met 2 in a half years ago and when i met him i was married. I had found out a few months before i met my ex-boyfriend that my husband had paid a call girl $ 250.00 to come into our home and strip for him. I was working 3rd shift and he was off work hurt so you can imagine how we struggled. Plus 2 months before this happened i had miscarried our baby. So i decided to leave my husband but he pleaded with me to stay with him through the holidays because i found this out in november. So i agreed. In december i met dwayne ,who later became my boyfriend and we had a daughter together, and in january i left my husband due to what happened previously and due to the fact that i fell in love with dwayne. As me and dwayne started talking and getting to know one another i found out i was pregnant by my husband. So i was honest with dwayne and told him. He proceded to tell me that it did not bother me that i was pregnant but as soon as i started showing he was gone. We got back together 6 months later. 4 months later i became pregnant with our daughter. So on through my pregnancy i went to the doctor alone,i took care of my son alone,i paid for everything as far as our dates went,we quit having sex,he started drinking really heavy and only coming to see me on saturday nights only,he was always off playing ball some where,basically i was alone through everything. After i had my daughter i moved in with him hoping to make a family with the kids and him. One day,after i had only been back to work 1 week from having our daughter, he calls and tells me that he dosen't wan't me to come back home and that he needs his space. In the mean time he get's a 1 bedroom apartment for himself while i'm trying to find a home for my kids. his reason for wanting to leave me is because i'm still married. Which i never told him i was divorced and the only reason i'm not divorced is because i feel that my husband made the mistake so why should i be the one to pay for the divorce. My question is should i pay for the divorce? Did dwayne have a good reason to leave me? Also he dosen't wan't to be with me but he still asks to borrow gas money and he still want's to sleep with me. Could he feel that he's made a mistake and realizes it or am i being used?? How could i tell if he loved me and if he still does?? Am i just being stupid?? Should i go on with my life with my kids and find someone new?? HELP HELP HELP PLEASE!!!!!!! i,M SO CONFUSED. IF THERE'S ANY MEN WHO COULD ALSO HELP ME FIGURE OUT THIS STUFF PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!
Weddinggrrl gave this response on 7/11/2000:
What a mess! You poor thing. I think you should get the divorce any way you can, and make sure the fathers of your children pay child support. Forget this unstable, undependable guy, don't give him sex, money, or anything. He deserted you when you needed help!
You need to be ALONE for a while until you can get your life straightened out for your own sake and for the sake of your kids. Jumping into another relationship will only cause more problems.
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