Anonymous asked this question on 7/10/2000:

I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 29. We've been dating for a little over a year and plan to get married. We've been friends for 10 years, and dated very briefly when I was 16 (he broke my heart pretty bad).

now that you know the background, here is the problem. I found out a couple days ago that he "made out" with 2 girls at the same time. I've met them before, and it's possible that'll meet them again. I think if it didn't happen in a public place, that it would have gone further.

I'll make it clear that we weren't dating at the time, just friends. I can't figure out why it bothers me so much. He's a great guy, and claims that he couldn't have sex with someone without there being emotion involved. This just seems to uncharacteristic(?) of him.

Why does this bother me so much and how can I get over it?

MarieMc gave this response on 7/10/2000:

It bothers you so much because it IS out of character for him and you wonder why he did it. It's obviously something that you feel you need to understand, I think you should ask him, why he did it, what was going through his mind, that kind of thing. You will get over it, in time, the shock will wear off and that will be old news. He was in a public place when it happened but you can't be sure he would have gone further if he wasn't in a public place, he might have just had a momentary loss of control, but from what you've said he sounds like a moral upstanding guy, it wouldn't surprise me if he would have stopped had it not been in public, talk to him, give yourself some time and concentrate on the life you're building together not on the past, that stuff just doesn't matter anymore. Best to you, Marie

The average rating for this answer is