Anonymous asked this question on 7/10/2000:

I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 29. We've been dating for a little over a year and plan to get married. We've been friends for 10 years, and dated very briefly when I was 16 (he broke my heart pretty bad).

now that you know the background, here is the problem. I found out a couple days ago that he "made out" with 2 girls at the same time. I've met them before, and it's possible that'll meet them again. I think if it didn't happen in a public place, that it would have gone further.

I'll make it clear that we weren't dating at the time, just friends. I can't figure out why it bothers me so much. He's a great guy, and claims that he couldn't have sex with someone without there being emotion involved. This just seems to uncharacteristic(?) of him.

Why does this bother me so much and how can I get over it?

dr_pepper gave this response on 7/10/2000:

I just went through this exact same thing with my boyfriend!

Even though we weren't together, my boyfriend went to a strip club three times with his friends. (i know it's not quite the same thing, but hear me out)This upset me so much because I think that is such a bad thing and I think that only really horney, slut guys would do that.

We actually almost broke up over it bacause I didn't know if I could marry someone who actually went and watched strippers. It upset me so much that I actually talked to my mom and about it.

The thing is, is he still like that?? Has he done anything like that since you two have been together? He has probably changed..haven't you done anything you aren't proud of?

I know it hurts...bad. But, you have to choose to either forgive him and move on or break up. You can't make him feel guilty for this forever.

Be patient with yourself. You don't have to get over it by tomorrow, but try to get over it sometime soon. If you do love him, everything will work out.

I hope I helped you.

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