Anonymous asked this question on 7/10/2000:
I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 29. We've been dating for a little over a year and plan to get married. We've been friends for 10 years, and dated very briefly when I was 16 (he broke my heart pretty bad).
now that you know the background, here is the problem. I found out a couple days ago that he "made out" with 2 girls at the same time. I've met them before, and it's possible that'll meet them again. I think if it didn't happen in a public place, that it would have gone further.
I'll make it clear that we weren't dating at the time, just friends. I can't figure out why it bothers me so much. He's a great guy, and claims that he couldn't have sex with someone without there being emotion involved. This just seems to uncharacteristic(?) of him.
Why does this bother me so much and how can I get over it?
DLM4u gave this response on 7/10/2000:
I think I know how you feel. My husband and I broke up for a while due to some problems we were having. I expected we would end up in a divorce. During this time of separation he went out on a couple of dinner dates with some female collegues. The dates were fairly innocent, as he only kissed them good night. Eventually we got back together because we knew we were meant to be together. We did some counseling and worked things out. The one thing that I can't get over was my husband kissing another woman. This seems so intimate to me. First off, my husband is shy. So the fact that he even had the nerve to ask anyone out was out of character, and the kisses... With women he barely knew??? The fact that it was so out of character bothered me too. I wondered if I didn't know him as well as I thought I did. I am not sure if this is your fear too or not. But I do understand your feeling uncomfortabe with his making out with two women that you may have to come in contact again with. My husband's dates were with co- workers! So much for the company christmas party!!!!! I hope this was helpful, and that your future with your husband is wonderful all that you hope for. -Dena
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