Anonymous asked this question on 7/9/2000:
i really do not know where to start. I have been dating a guy that i met via net for about 8 months now. up till this past weekend, we have been really close and actually he had proposed to me about a month ago. I could see visions of spending the rest of my life with him. I love him with all of my heart and soul. I am extremely scared at the moment. I havent eaten anything hardly all weekend and I cant sleep. I cannot cry anymore tears. I have tried to cry because I think I would feel better but cant. Anyway, one of his old "girl" "friends" came into town this weekend. They say their relationship is like sister and brother, but they do things that someone in a relationship would do. It is all weird to me. cuddling, hugging, wrestling, ect. everytime they sit beside each other, the have to be touching some how. (hands, feet, ect) I am sorry but I dont do this with just "friends" He was fussing that he felt as if I were putting him second place in our relationship a few weeks ago because I was chatting and hanging out with our friends. I did not hug, cuddle, wrestle, ect. with them. well i do sometimes, but gee not like 24-7 each wakening hour that they are together. i really do not think that i am over reacting. I am sick!! really depressed and cant think straight. He reassures me that I am the only one and that they are just friends and there is nothing else there. He calls her his sister. HHMM...ya know what??? I have a friend that says that too, but he wants more than that and just says I am like his sister in front of everyone else. I know this but no one else knows it. I just can not deal with someone that acts so flirty and shows these so-called "just friend" feelings. I do not want a relationship like this, I dont share my man, and I def. dont want some other female hanging all over him!! I really dont have a question to ask, because I know you cannot make things better for me. Just asking for your advice and friendship. I need like the biggest hug anyone could possibly offer at the moment! thanks! =0)
Weddinggrrl gave this response on 7/10/2000:
Consider yourself HUGGED!
This is inappropriate. People can be close friends, like brother and sister, and not be all over one another in front of their girlfriends! It's rude, and just wrong!
I'd say the same thing to anyone in any relationship: If things are not the way you want them to be, tell your partner. If he is unwilling to improve the relationship, then find someone who will. It's unfair for you to be so unhappy, and to harbor resentment toward him and his little "friend".
Tell him it doesn't matter that they are only friends... The touching, cuddling, etc. makes you feel uncomfortable because that intimacy should be reserved for YOU.
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