If not the fear of punishment
Draws fundies to their wraith,
Then why use they a boogeyman
To drive others to their faith?

"Believe as we do--- or ELSE!"
They roar, they chant, they bleat,
"Or you'll be fried when you have died
"And burn off both your feet."

"Your privates will be charred as well
"In ecstasies of pain,
"And when you've got no more to lose,
"God will grow them back, again!"

"And I will get to watch!" gloats one,
"I'll light the fire!" another,
Two more vow to show you to
Your dear, departed Mother.

"Imagine how SHE'LL feel," they snort,
"To see you roasting there,
"With nettles up your backside,
"Your nostrils stopped with hair!"

"The only air you'll have to breathe
"Will be old Demons' farts!
"To hold you fast you will be wedged
"In Satan's nether parts!"

"And I will get to watch!" gloats one,
"I'll light the fire!" another,
The other two just nod their heads,
With joy that they would bother

To bring you safe within their fold
To spare you all this shame,
Godfather, God, or Boogeyman:
They hope you'll fear his name.

For terror moves when reason fails
Dark in the Fearful Woods:
For Pater Noster or Cosa Nostra,
Extortion sells the goods.

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