Welcome To Hell!

Hey, it's not god's fault if he throws you into Hell, to suffer unimaginable, unending torment, for eternity: you're just askin' for it, bub! God "cannot abide with a 'sinner,'" the Jesusphiles tell us, so therefore all "sinners" are punished for ever and ever. Never mind the arguments that:

1. God can do anything he wants, since he's all-powerful and can thus "abide" with "sinners---" he need only will it. Alas, he would rather torment and torture lost souls in never-ending agony and misery instead. Go figger.

2. God could uncreate his Hell, just by willing it. If God "cannot abide with a 'sinner,'" why did he create Hell? Why not send "sinners" to New Jersey, or Ohio, to punish them? What kind of FIEND is this god anyhow?!

3. God, being all-knowing, already knows who the "unsaved" are and who the Jesusphiles (the One True Christian ©, i.e. "the saved") are. Why doesn't he just toss all of "the lost" into Hell on Day One and get it over with?

4. How is it that an omni-benevolent (all-good, all-charitable, all-beneficent, all-altruistic, all-generous) god would not "save" everone, no strings attached? Why is that the quid pro quo for being "saved" is that one must believe the impossible?

5. Why is Hell the DEFAULT?! Wouldn't an all-knowing, all-loving, all-compassionate, all-just god have made "salvation" the default, instead of "damnation?!"

Alas, the Jesusphile has all kinds of kooky "answers" for these questions, none of which are sane. Even infants are sent to Hell:

"What could a fetus do that is deserving of hellfire?" -- Jason Rosendale

"Have unsaved parents." -- Jim Staal, Jesusphile

Pretty disgusting belief, ain't it? How about:

"ATHEIST. I'm going to love waving to you when you go to hell, and i'm in heaven." -- Christopher Calabrese

Yes, many Jesusphiles get off on the belief that they will get to watch the "unsaved" writhe in torment and agony for eternity. Some Jesusphiles actually believe that reality is not reality, and non-reality is reality:

"If only his fear were of the eternal flames of hell perhaps he would open his mind up to reality." -- Dennis Bednarek on talk.religion.misc 16 Dec 1992

How about the following, writen to my sibling Fredric:

"You'll go to hell! You'll go to hell! Almighty God himself! You'll go to hell! Again, You'll go to hell!" - Jerry Wilcox, Jesusphile in HOLYSMOKE

I bet Arlo or Woodie Guthrie could make a folk song out of it. Here, let me try. . . .

This Hell is your Hell
This Hell is my Hell
From the sulphur lake beds
To the pools of lava
From the boiling Jews
To the stewing hertics,
This Hell was made for you and meeeee!

Okay, so maybe I should save the plans for a career as a song writer for a future life.... Anyhow, many thinkers, writers, and philosophers than I have said it better than I can:

"The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists -- that is why they invented Hell." - Bertrand Russell

Hell Opened The Gates of Hell Opened?
Oh, Hell! A poem by Don Martin, 1994.
Oven Light the oven.... Jesusphile wishes vengence is his.
After Death What do the Hebrew and Christian scriptures have to say about what happens after death, if anything?
Why Hell? Why Hell?! By Preston Simpson
Heaven / Hell Tell me more about Heaven and Hell, by Ralph Stokes. Comment by Christopher Baker.
Going To Hell Shy David is going to Hell (what should he bring?)
My Wife I want to be with my wife in Hell!!!
Robertson Pat Robertson going to Hell?
Short Study A short study on Hell, by Rick Fortier.
Hell Thermodynamics "Is Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic?"
Heaven-o! Change 'Hello' to 'Heaven-o' And Avoid Hell!

Go Back to Shy David's Jesusphile Page.