Hi, everyone! Since I'm going to hell, I've been wondering just what to pack for the trip. One can't plan too much for a trip that will last an eternity, I always say! There are several things I'm sure hell already has that I won't need to bring with me, such as matches, Catholic priests, entire Assemblies of God congregations, sulfur, brimstone, and summer-wear. But what to bring? Hummm. Here's my list--- I'd like to see what YOU all plan on taking.
BOOKS
What Hell Already Has
Every book Shirley McClain ever wrote
The Holy Bible
The Children's Book of Bible Stories (15,000 pages)
The complete works of Carl Sagan
What To Bring
Dante's "Inferno"
Coma Sutra
Anything by Asimov
Anything by Voltaire
MUSIC
What Hell Already Has
Theme song from the T.V. show "Jeopardy"
All of the songs from "The Sound of Music" movie
Anything by Neil Sadaka
"The Star Spangled Banner" by Francis Scott-Key
Anything by The BeeGees
"Like a Virgin" by Madonna
"Chitty Chitty Bang Bang"
Theme song to "The Brady Bunch"
What To Bring
Everything by Reba McEntire, Emmylou Harris, Kathy Mataya
"I saw God on the 405 freeway" by Mother Nature's Army
Everything by Carley Simon, Nancy Griffith, Kate Wolf
FOOD
What Hell Already Has
Coors beer
Rice and Beans
What To Bring
Diet Coke
Tofu
Pizza
COMPANY
Who Hell Already Has
Jerry Falwell
Ron Stringfellow
Charles Darwin
Ralph Stokes
Madonna
Steve Winter
Pat Robertson
Isaac Asimov
Who To Bring
Stephen Hawking
The Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders
Einstein
Edward Abby
S. R. Donaldson (Thomas Covenant books)
Steven King
Mark Twain
Doctor Ruth
HARDWARE
What Hell Already Has
TRS-80 16k, cassette tape save / restore media, faulty cables
300 baud modem
What To Bring
Pentium/400 super VGA, five tetrabytes hard disk, 64M RAM
T1 dedicated dark fiber optic phone line for HOLYSMOKE feed