These are Shy David's thoughts and opinions on rape. They must not be taken as "gospel." Shy David is not a counselor, nor has he any training or education in the subject. The reader must understand that what Shy David writes here may or may not be correct. He strongly urges readers to seek out qualified help in this area!
Rape is never justified, as it is not justifiable. No excuse is good enough. Rape is the violent, humiliating attack by men (usually) against girls and women (usually), to dominate, intimidate, and control them. Less often, but just as important and just as unacceptable, rape is also violence and humiliation commited by men against boys and other men. As such, it is not about "sex" or "sexuality:" it is about abuse for the sake of abuse. It is about the hatred and anger some men have towards girls and women, and against boys and men who the abuser perceives as feminine. The crime occurs in every social, economic, age, and cultural groups. It occurs where ever there is an imbalance of power between the abuser and his victim. The actual imbalance may be physical strength, economic dependence, mental and emotional weakness, or combinations of these. Rape is non-consensual "sex," be it physical or emotional. Rape may be commited without there being "actual copulation" and other sexual acts--- "sexual assault" can also mean intimidation and the threat of sexual abuse that is non-consensual. The victimizer need not even touch his victim for assault to occur.

It is never "okay" to commit rape!

Sexual contact with a minor is rape, since a minor, by definition, cannot give consent. This means both females and males under the Age of Consent laws, which differ from State to State in the USA (and I assume from country to country).

Sexual contact with someone unconscious is rape. This includes abuse of alcohol or narcotics, or if she is asleep. It does not matter if the woman gave consent ten minutes ago and then passed out: when she is unconscious, she is not in a position to change her mind!

Sexual contact with someone who first consented and then refused is rape. Every woman has the right to change her mind, at any time. When she says "No," sexual contact must cease. The woman need not justify her change of mind: she need only inform her partner that she has changed her mind. It does not matter if one thinks her reasoning is "not good enough." "No" means "No!"

Sexual contact with ones' wife who has not consented is rape. Marriage is no excuse for commiting rape. A man does not own the body or mind of his spouse. A woman has the right to refuse her husband! Still, in most States in the USA, a man raping his wife is tacitly condoned. Only by educating the Justic System can this evil be changed. Assault is always assault, no matter if the abuser is married to the abused.

Sexual contact with ones' date who has not consented is rape. Buying someone dinner, or taking her to see a play, does not entitle one to have sex with her. This includes groping. Paying for dinner and a play / movie is a gift to her: not payment for services to be rendered!

Sexual contact with ones' girlfriend / lover who has not consented is rape. Past sexual contact does not mean that one can assume future sexual contact. A girlfriend or lover may refuse to have sexual contact at any time in the relationship. She need not provide her reasons for her decision: she need only voice her decision.

It is important to remember that non-consentual sex is the opposite of love, caring, nuturing, kindness, compassion. A boy or man who cares about someone will never rape her. Raping someone tells her "I hate you!"

"They can love, because they were loved." -- Gwenny The Pooh
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