Anonymous asked this question on 7/12/2000:

Is it possible for a man to love a woman and care nothing about his own mother? If he can't help her out when she needs it, will he be able to help me? And my second question is: Why do most black atheletes turn to white women instead of their own race? I'm not prejudice, but all women are not money hungry.

LadyMara gave this response on 7/12/2000:

You have asked two questions that have a lot of basis in opinion. The first one: it is possible to love anyone and not love anyone else. BUT, a mother is a man's "first love" and how he treats her is a 99% indicator of how he will or does treat the women in his life. This is what he has practiced and what he has learned. He does not know how to do any differently.

Now, he may have issues with his mother, but love is not an issue. You either love someone or you do not. The point that leads people to say "dump" someone like this is that no matter WHAT issues you might have, this is the person who gave you birth and life. You owe her a certain amount of respect and if you can not provide that, you do not deserve a mother, or any other woman. If you can not show respect for someone who has done so much for you, how can you learn it with others? You can't.

So, you probably should leave this man. He is not interested in making a woman happy. If he can not learn how to put his mother first, how is he going to learn how to put you or anyone else first????

And as to your second question. I do not know if it is exactly true that most black men turn to white women. And one of your responses says that they have problems if they do so. But it is true that there are a lot of interracial relationships nowadays. I have been in two myself. Some of that could have a lot to do with the fact that a very many of the "jocks" went to college (even the scholarship ones) and have fewer women to pick from when they begin their quest. Most people with college educations tend to date and marry others with college educations. A lot of the black women who are in college are serious and dedicated and have no interest in jocks per se. So, that narrows the choices down even more. But, everything is stereotype and speculation because no one knows exactly what is going through the minds of the people in question. And few people actually care or ask for the facts (grin). That is what we have the National Enquirer for! To feed us gossip. What does money hungry have to do with it? I do not think that money hungry is the reason that these men choose the women that they do. Just like accountants and bakers they are men and hopefully just like the accountant and the baker they will pick a woman with the same moral content and who they feel attraction for and care deeply for. Now, remember, even among the athletes, you are going to have men who are going to choose women based on how they look, how much money THEY have, or connections they have. Why would you want a man like that?

If you are interested in meeting an athlete, you need to go where they are. Colleges and games. If you are not in either of those places how are you going to meet them? And don't you think that looking at color is a little narrow? You might meet a wonderful athlete of another race who will sweep you off your feet and complete you! If you do, I will gladly dance at your wedding! (smile)

whatever happens darlin, good luck and God bless!

love,

LadyMara