Anonymous asked this question on 7/11/2000:
Hello everybody! Hang with me here because i have a lot of questions. Let me explain my situation. My boyfriend left me,or actually kicked me and our daughter as well as my son out of his house, a few months ago. We met 2 in a half years ago and when i met him i was married. I had foun out a few months before i met my ex-boyfriend that my husband had paid a call girl $ 250.00 to come into our home and strip for him. I was working 3rd shift and he was off work hurt so you can imagine how we struggled. Plus 2 months before this happened i had miscarried our baby. So i decided to leave my husband but he pleaded with me to stay with him through the holidays because i found this out in november. So i agreed. In december i met dwayne ,who later became my boyfriend and we had a daughter together, and in january i left my husband due to what happened previously and due to the fact that i fell in love with dwayne. As me and dwayne started talking and getting to know one another i found out i was pregnant by my husband. So i was honest with dwayne and told him. He proceded to tell me that it did not bother me that i was pregnant but as soon as i started showing he was gone. We got back together 6 months later. 4 months later i became pregnant with our daughter. So on through my pregnancy i went to the doctor alone,i took care of my son alone,i paid for everything as far as our dates went,we quit having sex,he started drinking really heavy and only coming to see me on saturday nights only,he was always off playing ball some where,basically i was alone through everything. After i had my daughter i moved in with him hoping to make a family with the kids and him. One day,after i had only been back to work 1 week from having our daughter, he calls and tells me that he dosen't wan't me to come back home and that he needs his space. In the mean time he get's a 1 bedroom apartment for himself while i'm trying to find a home for my kids. his reason for wanting to leave me is because i'm still married. Which i never told him i was divorced and the only reason i'm not divorced is because i feel that my husband made the mistake so why should i be the one to pay for the divorce. My question is should i pay for the divorce? Did dwayne have a good reason to leave me? Also he dosen't wan't to be with me but he still asks to borrow gas money and he still want's to sleep with me. Could he feel that he's made a mistake and realizes it or am i being used?? How could i tell if he loved me and if he still does?? Am i just being stupid?? Should i go on with my life with my kids and find someone new?? HELP HELP HELP PLEASE!!!!!!! i,M SO CONFUSED. IF THERE'S ANY MEN WHO COULD ALSO HELP ME FIGURE OUT THIS STUFF PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!
Omega2000 gave this response on 7/12/2000:
Anonymous: Its always sad to hear of a woman going through so much inflicted pain.Especially when there are children envoled. You have answered alot of your questions. Like I always say...you know what you know. It comes from the heart. Your heart has been broken by two men in a short amount of time.When your husband betrayed you,there stood another waiting to replace him. You didn't give yourself a chance to rid yourself of the pain of a broken marriage and heart. Sometimes when we are hurting it seem that if we could find another to love then the pain will go away. We soon learn that this does not work. I'm not saying these things to make you feel any worse,i just want you to see your worth. Leave yoour boyfriend and concentrate on yourself and the children.He hasn't proven to be worthy of your love or your life. In order to go on with your life you must put closer to all of your relationships.The next time your boyfriend ask for money,serve him with child support papers.As for your husband don't wait for him to pay for the divorce do it yourself accompained with child support papers.You deserve more than what you have allowed to happend.Don't be too quick to find another replacement for these men until you find a way to get your life back into your control. You can do it! With a lot of pain and tears can bring a lot of happiness to you in the coming years. Be good to yourself and set yourself free of all pain. Wishing you the very very very best with the kids and learning to love yourself deeply. Keep in touch. Omega2000
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