Anonymous asked this question on 7/6/2000:
I am not currently in a relationship, but I just go out of a longterm relationship which ended in complete turmoil, leaving me with feeling of heart break and betrayal. For the most part I am over the whole situation, it's been about seven months since everything happened and I began to go on with my life and see other people. Now I find myself giving people too much distance because I am scared of getting hurt again. I'm not looking for an instant relationship but I would like a strong friendship that may build over time. How do I know if I'm prepared, or how do I avoid being parnoid that everyman will hurt me or preventing myself from having a silent hate for men. I love men and I want to be happy with them but it's hard. I can't blame a man for my feeling because generally It's something I have to deal with. So what do I do. How do I let go a little bit without making myself vulnerable.
Confused/scared
mixien7 gave this response on 7/11/2000:
dear confused/scared, It's amazing how much I understand where your coming from. I dated a boy for a year and a half, and it was a very serious relationship. I loved him more than anything in the world. He was my best friend and the person I wanted to spend my life with. Like you, it ended and i was left a complete mess. He saied he loved me, but I was too good for him, you know the typical stuff. Within weeks we went from best friends to distant aquaintances. It's been 5 months since and i never thought I could trust anyone with my heart again, I thought it would be years before I would fully heal. But one night I met Zachary. I was instantly attracted to him and we just hit it off. I never thought I would be so comfortable witha guy again, but what I'm trying to tall you is don't shut yourself off, you'll know when the right person comes along who you can trust, beleive me you'll sense it. I mean if I hadn't expierienced extreme heartbreak than I wouldn't have met Zachary. So keep your heat open just a little bit and just wait for the right person to come in when it's right.
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