Jesus walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The parrot says to the bartender, "RAWWWK, gimme a beer." The bartender says, "That's amazing! Where did you get him?" The parrot says, "RAWWWK, Jerusalem."
Pages with the
graphic are
Mariner's Ministries pages. The pages marked with the
are HolySmoke
pages. These pages represent the opinions of their various
authors, and readers must exercise critical thinking when
reading them. None of these files are presented as
factual by Shy David: accept or reject them as you see fit, research
them or not, as you see fit.
Many of these pages are humorous. Most are sarcastic. If you are a timid little Fundamentalist Theist, you will probably be offended. That's the authors' whole point: if the truth offends one, maybe one should reconsider ones beliefs and prejudices.
Would A Man Of God Lie? The curious tale of Rev Austin Miles.
Church Of Spam Shy David's Solar-Wide Church of Spam.
| "Take your book of Revelation and stick it up your ass. If you can get it past your ears, that is..." -- Karl Schneider |
Right vs Wrong jonny vee on Right and Wrong. Who says what is "right" and what is "wrong?"
| "The three divisions of the Federal Government, executive, legislative, and judicial were modeled after the diversity and unity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit." -- Jeff Wheeler, Fundamentalist Christian |
Pat Robertson Buy Pat Robertson's new product: Liberal-away!
A HolySmoker's Dyslexicon Marty Leipzig teaches the heathens the meaning of theological words. A must-read!
| "Ever notice there's no 'Bible for Dummies?' Way too redundant." -- Marty Leipzig, Wicked Ole Atheist |
Quotes Fundamentalist banter with heathens--- and wish they hadn't. 87,453 bytes
| "For someone who says he doesn't believe in Satan, you sure talk just like him!" --- Actual e-mail from a Fundamentalist Christian |
Quiz for Christians What Kind Of Christian Are You? Take this quiz and find out.
| "Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a religion and he'll starve to death praying for a fish." -- Judith Bandsma |
Stargoat Quentin Explains The Cosmic Star Goat.
| "Giving money to the church is like having a telethon for idiocy." |
| "God's not anything. He doesn't exist. The judgement you refer to is your own fantasy. Unable to directly state your superiority and your desire for the demise of people who aren't like you, you invent gods to do your vengeful bidding. Fortunately, it's transparent to anyone packing more than two functional synapses." --- edweird |
| "As for the Ten Commandments being posted in a court of law, I would rather see the judges partaking of absinthe and the jurors smoking crack." -- Preston Simpson |
Fundy Basher! I Confess! Don Martin and Marty Leipzig confess to being bashers of nonsense.
|
"In our society generally, politeness dictates a certain show
of respect for anything religious. At a meeting, when somebody
says, 'let us pray,' heads generally nod; in public, when
somebody shares his beliefs, one nods again out of good manners;
on one's doorstep, when somebody interrupts dinner to offer a
copy of Watchtower, one is supposed to refuse politely,
restraining one's impulse to disembowel the jerk where he
stands. Believers are so used to this automatic deference, so
accustomed to supposing it to be their due, that they tend often
to be quite shocked at what they see when they show up on
HolySmoke.
"HolySmoke ain't polite." -- Don Martin |
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